“All animals are equal, but some animals are more equal than others.” A proclamation by the pigs who control the government in the novel Animal Farm, by George Orwell.
Beyoncé is overrated
David Attenborough is overrated and nothing more than a glorified voice-over artist
Strawberries are disgusting
White people’s weddings are uniformly dull and monotonous in all facets
People drink gin because it’s trendy
Quentin Tarantino is a hideous person
The whole politically correct gender pronoun thing. Drives me insane: he/she/we/them/her/him. Makes me want to come up with my own version: yeti/Bigfoot/ballbagger/cryptid.
Star Wars isn’t very good
My dick pic will make panties melt and women faint
Marriage no longer works
Chinese food is horrible.
I hate dumplings,
Custard is glorified child’s vomit
Rice pudding is squelchy yukkiness in a bowl
When people call themselves an “Influencer” but their way of influencing is posting a few meaningless words a few times a week to inspire
People who connect with you and then send a huge message that’s full of waffle and bollocks
People that connect with you and then message you a few times a week just to say “Hi” or “How are you”?
Nutella Chocolate on toast is a cry for help. I always did this as a child and one day I suddenly started having trouble breathing. Thanks Nutella. Now I eat with with a spoon and an epi pen in hand
Mashed Potato is the most disgusting thing ever invented
Jamie Oliver is the most irritating man on earth
Its a bread roll, not a barm or a bread cake or a bap
People who call other people “hun” are intellectually challenged
Pineapple on pizza
Coldplay are overrated
Linkedin is better for dating than Tinder
The Office US is far better and funnier than the UK original
Dark chocolate digestives are better than milk chocolate digestives
Scones — definitely jam then cream, why would you do it any other way?
99% of online marketing advice only works if what you’re selling is marketing
The bible is to popular culture what Kim Jung-Un is to golf. A pack of lies.
Balls taste of better when dipped in salted caramel chocolate
Friends the program is shite. Friends IRL are over rated
American pancakes with bacon and maple syrup are better than English ones
Naming your penis is stupid
Gordon Ramsay is pretty damn hot
GOTs is so boring. It’s the equivalent of stabbing your eyes with a rectal examiner over and over again
99% of poetry sucks
You won’t find true love. Better to settle for average
LinkedIn is the best social media platform and everyone should be focusing on it
Beer out of a can tastes weird
Open office environment is a breeding ground for germs
Drinking wine isn’t classy. You’re just a posh drunk.
Pugs are ugly not cute
Dirty is good
Jason Momoa isn’t all that hot.
An automatic license is as good as a manual license
People who claim to hate online bullying yet do it themselves
I don’t like dogs, any size or any breed. They smell
Chocolate is gross
What is the point of Ed Sheeran?
Drakes music is awful, he’s talentless and fooling us all
Bovril is better than Marmite
Pouring hot water on your windscreen to clear the ice will not crack it
Virgins are real
Just because I choose not to have children does not mean: I can’t / I don’t like children / make me a weirdo / or you can spend all of your time trying to convince me why I should
Just because the average dress size in Australia is a 14–16 does not make it OK. We’re calling it body positivity but we’re actually encouraging obesity.
Political correctness is killing the honest opinion in this world. I refuse to change the way I speak just because some people need to get out more
Lord of the Rings is complete shite
Milk doesn’t build strong bones
Marriage is a patriarchal tool that’s gaslit women into giving away their sexual agency and right to take up their own space
Gary Vee talks for hours and doesn’t say a thing
I think Simba from the Lion King is a little git
Musicals are just awful! All that bursting into spontaneous song will not bring about world peace or save humanity
Baby on Board stickers on the back of cars are a waste of time. Me noticing a sticker just before I plough headlong into the back of your car isn’t a preventative action
Most women can’t drive (note: I am not most women)
Harry Potter is crap
Religious content should be allowed on every platform
Vegans, vegetarians etc… should praise us meat-eaters for keeping their precious plants safe
There aren’t enough plants for everyone to switch to a plant-based diet so stop trying to convert the world
Mushrooms are the work of the devil and should stay in the ground
I don’t like Breaking Bad, The Walking Dead or Peaky Blinders
Nando’s is completely overrated, overpriced and generally shite
Humus is grated spew made by the devil to convince meat eaters they’re being healthy
Avocados crushed is fucking guacamole and should never be eaten in public
The gym is and always has been an insidious place full of narcissistic men intimidating women
Mayo is better on chips than ketchup
Test cricket is the greatest invention ever made by humankind
People who start every sentence with ‘So’
People who pick and choose the validity of ‘Science’ when it suits them
People who have not yet had to live in the real world, working a real job and paying for their way, dictating to others on how they should live their life
Powerpoint is dead
Print is dead
SEO is dead
Foo Fighters is better than Nirvana
Earth is a flat disk
Reality Stars are not stars. So why do people claim they are? and why are they doing so well financially considering they’ve offered the community nothing as well as being not being talented?
Writers — Please can they write their own stuff instead of having reboots/remakes, etc.
Why can’t all films that are sequels just put a fucking 2,3,4 at the end of all their films
Films or tv shows based on sleeping with each other is not TV entertainment.
From 2000 onwards the quality of music and TV have both been in decline
Olives are just disgusting. They stink. They’re oily. They have pips!
ALL Social media and the self obsessed culture of fake everything
Fuck the ’80s. They were awful to live through so why glorify that crap
Pot noodle sandwiches are very underrated
“Disrupting the xyz industry” is the most annoying slogan/tagline/thing that is said way too often. The word disrupting has essentially lost all meaning
job searching can be fun
The wedding industrial complex is predatory capitalism
Michael Jackson just loved children and chimps
With only 24 hours in the day, it’s hard to keep your job and your kids entertained at the same time. Many of us are faced with the new reality of working from home and some might not make it out alive. Let me show you how you can make it more tolerable: