Reed Alexander
Founding member
Bio
I'm a horror author and foulmouthed critic of all things horror. New reviews posted every Monday.
@ReedsHorror on TikTok, Threads, Instagram, YouTube, and Mastodon.
Check out my books on Godless: https://godless.com/products/reed-alexander
Stories (306/0)
Reed Alexander's Patriot Review of 'Detective Heart of America: The Final Freedom' (2015)
This movie—this epoch—represents centuries of culminating cinematography and screenwriting efforts of the world's greatest minds. Together, they singlehandedly fed their creative muses into the mind of the great master, Jason Steele. Only he could siphon the powers of such amazing intellects and slush it into a singularity of the greatest movie of all times. Only he could interpret the collective unconscious of the super-unknown!
By Reed Alexander5 years ago in The Swamp
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Us' (2019)
Jordan Peele is hands down the new Master of Horror and I can't wait to see his take on The Twilight Zone when it airs. I should mention, I'm easily bored by home invasion movies. Regardless of the sociopolitical undertones of movie like The Purge, or the feminist undertones of Hush, I simply couldn't get into the stories. Home invasion always smacks of silly upper-class privileged fear mongering, regardless of how it was spun. So, regardless of the fact, there's clearly some kind of supernatural overtone to this movie, I was still worried it was gonna be just another home invasion movie. There has also been a huge hype machine behind Jordan Peele since Get Out and I was worried this couldn't live up to the expectations.
By Reed Alexander5 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Dark Waters' (1994)
The opening of this movie sets the bar so low, you don't expect much of this movie. That makes it pleasantly surprising that the rest of the movie is pretty good. Of course, the rest of this movie is still begging to be riffed, but it's still a pretty good movie. The ending is a bit predictable, the practical FX are absolute garbage, and the rubber monster is downright silly, but everything else is okay.
By Reed Alexander5 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Deep Star Six' (1989)
You know how you know it's an 80s horror? Only one black actor and he doesn't live past the halfway mark. That aside, I love a good rubber monster! This was one of my favorite movies back when I was a kid, and if you look past the fact that it's would be pretty low budget even for back in the days, it's actually not half bad even by nowadays standards. Actually, it's even pretty good for the K-Mart version of "Leviathan." Seeing as Leviathan is the K-Mart version of "The Abyss."
By Reed Alexander5 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The First Shred' Madness Heart Press (2019)
Fucking fascinating. I’m a very story-oriented reader. Of course, a story should be well-written, but in my professional opinion, writing capacity is a second to a good story. As long as the writing isn’t total shit, the story is what keeps the reader going. This story did have many problems, however, I kept reading. For an individual with severe adult ADHD, that's a feat the author can be proud of.
By Reed Alexander5 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review Shit's All Over 'Day of the Dead: Bloodlines' (2018)
You don't have to read past the spoilers. Don't watch this flaming pile of red hot bloody diarrhea... SPOILERS!!! You know what? I really thought this goddamn movie was going to move beyond the "almost rape" scene at the beginning. I'm fucking serious. I am done, and I mean FUCKING done, with movies that center their plot around rape. But it had me fooled, because the female lead escaped without actually getting raped, and because her rapist was promptly eaten by a zombie. So, I let it go. I shouldn't have.
By Reed Alexander5 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Train to Busan' (2016)
You know, I have to say, I was expecting this to be the next movie on the zombie bandwagon with a typical "cookie-cutter plot." I was expecting just your typical zombie movie in another language. That, in of itself, would have been fine. But I'm just so fucking sick of the typical zombie movie. Nothing has really impressed me since the remake of Dawn of the Dead. Which, by the way, is my all-time favorite zombie movie and number five on my all time favorite horror movie list. I needed Train to Busan to deliver in a serious way... and it fucking did.
By Reed Alexander5 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'The Lords of Salem' (2012)
Jesus Christ, Rob. Was that real crack featured in this movie? I need to understand what the fuck you were on. Here's the thing. A lot of people complained about this movie being absolute trash. It did have its problems, but it wasn't half bad. Most of my complaints are in singular scenes that were poorly executed, but not the over all story or cinematography.
By Reed Alexander5 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Sharktopus vs. Whalewolf' (2015)
Where do I begin on this silly mess of absolute nonsense? It comes down to the important question. Was this, intentional pile of dog shit, an entertaining pile of dog shit? Does a little kid hit the dog shit and slide across the lawn? Or does the pile of dog shit just sit there, till it get's hard, and turns white? Well, it was hit and miss. It was more like the little kid running around the yard, nearly missing the dog shit, keeping up the spectacle, because you know he's gonna step on it at some point, but when he did, it was kinda just a head nod.
By Reed Alexander5 years ago in Horror
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Jason Goes to Hell: The Final Friday' (1993)
Again, not sure why this installment of the Friday the 13th (F13) franchise was so universally hated on. In my review of Jason X (aka Jason in Space!) I mentioned fans of the franchise placed the original run on WAY too fucking high a pedestal. Five, in my opinion, is really the worst and it's more about what it wasn't than what it was.
By Reed Alexander5 years ago in Horror