I'm the foulmouthed horror movie critic. I post new reviews every Sunday, so stay tuned =D
Reed's Literary Horror Review of 'Magpie Coffin' (2020), by Wile E. Young
The protagonist of this book, Black Magpie, kinda reminds me of The Killer of Saints, from Preacher. He's entirely unlikable and that's the whole fucking point. He's grim, cruel, and far too willing to kill innocent people. If anything, Black Magpie is far less indestructible than Killer of Saints. Basically, from the setup, if you try to shoot him, you will miss due to a spell warding him from bullets. This leads to collateral damage as often people trying to shoot him will shoot others around him by accident. It's a nifty ability that doesn't make Magpie overly invincible but convinces a lot of people that he is. Basically, drop the gun and try your luck with a bowie, if you got brass balls the size of cantaloupes. That, or get your hands on the one gun that's specially warded to shoot him (this will come up later).
Reed's Literary Horror Review of 'Fright Train' (2021) edited by Charles R. Rutledge and Scott T. Goudsward
Opening with a run-on sentence is a baller move. It's the reader's introduction (well... past the introduction anyway) to the anthology. That's a seriously "high risk" maneuver that could instantly throw off any reader. For me, it had damn well better be a declaration of how amazing every word that follows is. It stuck out so much I had to include it in my review.
Reed's Horror Review of 'Halloween III: Season of the Witch' (1982)
I feel like it's impossible to talk about this movie without talking about the fact that Michael Myers isn't in it... So let me be very clear about this... WHO FUCKING CARES. Jesus fucking christ, every goddamn slasher is just another stale knockoff of another slasher going back decades. GOD FUCKING FORBID a writer or director try to do something unique and interesting without every fucking fanboy of the goddamn franchise whining like a little bitch.
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Sputnik' (2020)
You know what I found to be particularly disappointing about this movie? It wasn't an Alien (1979) ripoff like I was promised. I was told this would have elements of The Thing (1982) and even Life (2017), in the good old-fashioned tradition of Russian Knockoff films. What I got instead, was an intelligent, interesting, and even complex, standalone film that holds itself upon its own merits. I was expecting Xtro 2 (1990) at worst, and Leviathain (1989) at best. I wasn't expecting this to actually be GOOD.
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Anything For Jackson' (2020)
Shudder is starting to up their game with their exclusive content. This is good, because so far I've been pretty unimpressed. Out of the several selections I've already viewed, most of them were boring or outright bad. But I can honestly say that Anything For Jackson (2020) is damn good. Good enough, where I'm sure it will find a spot somewhere on my top 50. Not high, but on there, and that's an impressive feat.
Reed's Literary Horror Review 'At The Gates of Chaos' (2021) Edited by Scott Dyson.
I think the first thing that was really fetching about this anthology wasn't just the solid collection of stories, but also the fantastic collection of artwork proceeding each story. Kinda gives it the feel of a Scary Stories to Tell In the Dark, except for adults. The artwork was fascinating and I appreciate the added effort.
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Stir of Echoes' (1999)
In my review of White Noise (2005), I asked the question, "why watch that when you can watch this instead?" They were very similar in style and even plot, but White Noise was pretty lame. I mean, it was okay, but not really worth the watch. This one is so much better AND it has Kevin Bacon in it.
Reed Alexander's Horror Review of 'Gretel and Hansel' (2020)
I suppose it wasn't bad. I have a lot of the same complaints about this movie as I did The VVitch (2015). Visually, this movie was stunning. Though it wasn't quite as beautiful as The VVitch the director put the same level of effort into making every scene a work of art. I think it even works a little better than The VVitch, even if the quality wasn't quite as good. This movie is more of a psychedelic horror like Argento's Suspiria (1977). It's visually stimulating and deeply unnerving, likely in an effort to get the audience to trip. It even used synth music in the same stylings as the old horror movies to assist in making every scene discomforting.