Invisible to your heart but visible to your eyes. I love you, I lust you and despise you at the same time, I ask myself why I even try to love someone who's incapable of love. Reasons I provide are excuses and even they aren't enough. I try, I fail, for a moment it feels as though I prevailed but in reality still I've failed. Failed myself for caring for you more, disappointed that I had an opening to leave but couldn't walk out the door. Fed up, yet I keep my head to look in your eyes while ignoring the lies, red flags have been raised but I disregard them. As I stare in the mirror I feel ashamed, shame I let you use me, confuse me and emotionally abuse me. I've become a puppet on a string and you are controlling my every move meanwhile I'm the one to blame. Shame on me, shame on us, shame on we who allow the hurt all for the joys of never being alone then up heartbroken with no words of remorse received. Sadly, it's our choice because we don't use our voice to speak up yet stay questioning why we weren't enough, but the real question is was it them or was it us who should feel ashamed?
Fighting constantly fighting with her to be a better version of who she used to be.
His smile illuminates the room and fills it with happiness that only he can bring.
I want to get wasted and faded off your kisses while your heartbeat is in unison with mine.
Ready, and willing but still left with the curiosity of what you're feeling. A simple hello has become impossible to achieve, once upon a time I used to believe that you were the one for me. But even our hearts sometimes deceives us and causes distrust. I can hear my lips wanting to utter the words I need you but the truth is I don't. You are and will always be an adolescent memory and reminder of my past. Your laugh I still cherish but your heart isn't mine..I become disappointed in the time I wasted daydreaming of things that will never come true. I've punished myself enough and now I have to set you free, but you and will always be an adolescent memory of my past...
I'm triggered cause I thought you were the one but it was an illusion which came with confusion and had me losing myself while I placed my self-worth on the shelf. Every day I looked in the mirror and things still didn't become clearer until I stop listening to your words and focused on your actions now I'm contemplating and asking how did I sink so low where did my self-esteem go. As I lie here on the bed with "triggered" on replay my disappointments constantly playing in my head. I'm triggered when you text my phone, triggered that I let you give me false hope and left me feeling used discarded unable to process the hurt until the door that led me to you was finally closed. But, your soul is still connected to mine as I can still feel your kisses on my lips and spine. I'm triggered cause I knew my worth but let myself down when I chose to indulge knowing the consequences of the path I chose. So am I really triggered or feeling played that for you myself I betrayed.