There is a time when it seems like the choices you make carry so much weight. It is the time when you find that your mind floods your brain, and then your body starts to hyperactivate in all of the possibilities. One choice could be the step where the floor falls in, and you lose everything and everyone that you care about. All can be lost if we believe the lie of self doubt, anxiety, or that trust in others is completely unconditional. There are always consequences, but there is a step that we all can take before making any choice (Besides prayer & consulting close confidants).
Was it in this place of Who Dat's, ghosts of flood victims, or Black eccentric pride that I learned that I am natural? I recall rubbing my light yellow skin, untouched by the 97 degree heat of the ninth ward. Who knew that high dewpoint could make me shed, and get toasty brown. I rubbed the spicy melting lotion into my skin, put on my fresh red pants, and striped Be-Youtiful shirt, ready to explore. After traveling down South I was worried. I did not know how to be around communities of other races that were historically not very kind to women that look like me. I expected that my skin tone would cause my service to be lessened, or to be judged. But, what I learned is that maybe Southern Hospitality is the barrier breaker to what we call discrimination. Although our accents stood out, we were traveling among the 100,000 coming down for the 25th year of Essence! Essence magazine is so important to highlight blackness in business, fashion, politics, and within families. The first issue of Essence was in May of 1970, where the tag "to delight and to celebrate the beauty, pride, strength, and uniqueness of all Black women," and Barbara Cheeseborough graced.
The way we see each other
Pause... for just a few minutes. Take a deep breath and let the breath come into your body, hold it for four seconds and then release. Try to do this one more time preferably sitting down. I love this exercise because I love to come back into my body. As a very strong brainiac and dreamer I enjoy reminiscing and calculating my thoughts in my head. Put when your mind constantly spinning with work emails, deadlines, and bad news you can develop anxiety. I realize that I like meditation and ASMR because it allows me to feel into my senses. I can focus on my breathing and what my body needs in the moment.
I started wearing makeup when I was 21 years old. As a woman I KNOW that is a very late start. I was never the one to gloss over my face, or blend, or compact something in my face. I actually had "bad skin" as a young person, so naturally I started using acne products. I had buckets of acne cremes, toners, moisturizers, and masks. I had tried everything on my face to clear my skin, so I did not even want to add anything else! I was also a tomboy. I never liked to be super feminine, and I just knew that was who I was. I am, and was, sort of a shell of a woman, but on the inside I really was just searching for peace, and self love. I realize now that makeup enhances, and is a form of self love. All women including tomboys can invest in themselves in this way!! Here is my routine!