Michael Totherow
Stories (1/0)
The Past
I can't say that I've always been the best guy out there. I have my own flaws like everyone else. I struggle with myself and my own past differently then anyone else I know. I've never been very good at communicating my emotions to anyone—my friends, family, past relationships, anyone honestly, I would have to say that's my biggest flaw. I don't like feeling emotions, quite frankly they scare me. I care so much about the ones closest to me, but I can't explain it to people verbally. I try and show it through action. I'm not a very direct person. I'm super passive and avoid conflict at all cost. I always get scared when people yell, and it makes me physically sick. I know you'd never be able to tell because I'm very good at hiding my emotions. My loyalty is unrivaled. I've always been one of those people who would do anything to keep a promise that I made. I struggle a lot with my past—haunted by it almost. The fear of abandonment is daunting to me. Being left to myself as a child a lot of the time, always wondering why I wasn't good enough or what I did wrong to feel this way. I never want my children to feel that way. And I feel like I broke that promise to myself and it hurts. I think about it constantly everyday, wondering what I could've done differently to change that past. You just can't. It's a helpless feeling. Know you've destroyed the one thing that made YOU who you are. I always make the most out of every minute that I get to spend with the people I love, building memories and lifetime accomplishments with those around me—because you never know when it'll be the last time you ever get to see them again.
By Michael Totherow5 years ago in Humans