Matilda

Four years ago today, I walked into a five star Mayfair hotel in London. My life was about to change forever. I was about to meet the person who would teach me the power of the universe, the law of attraction and the art of visualisation.

Sitting in the tiny bathroom of a coffee shop, I was in shock. I had just read the one word which would change my life forever. I felt numb. I was pregnant. There was a life inside me.

You're walking through the streets. Your mind is full, your eyes barely seeing the passing people and cars around you, your legs moving automatically. As your thoughts race through your mind, you keep your head down and concentrate on a mental to-do list for tomorrow.

My dream home would be full of light. Huge french doors would open out onto the white sand and turquoise waters of a Hawaiian beach. The air inside would be cool.

I stared down at the remnants of my cherry pie. I watched the last spoonful of ice cream merge with the bright pink of the sweet cherry sauce, impressed with how quickly it melted. I shifted in my seat, peeling my bare back off the plastic chair. My strappy floral dress was failing to provide any kind of relief from the hot airless day. Looking around the diner, I could see a hazy wave of tired customers seeking refuge from the heavy heat of the day.

I am the worlds most jealous person. I am not by any stretch of the imagination, breezy. In fact, I can safely say this word will never be used to describe me. Even the thought of my boyfriend merely looking at a girl, makes me want to run away and be single for the rest of my life.