Maelyn Jeffers
Bio
Throughout my life, I have been through a lot of pain, and I want to share my stories because as bad as it was I survived. I AM A SURVIVOR!!!!
Stories (24/0)
The Torture Box
When someone is determined to cause pain, they will use almost anything to succeed. During my childhood, I was on the other side of these painful selections. These selections still affect me to this day and add on to the PTSD that I already have based on my childhood abuse. When I was younger, my stepfather was into most of the things dads are into, which included his love for tools. My stepfather enjoyed buying tools and getting tools for Father’s Day; he was always putting stuff together.
By Maelyn Jeffers5 years ago in Psyche
Bad Hair Day
One of the things I stand against entirely is parent’s disciplining their children by giving them embarrassing haircuts. I feel this way based on experience, and the day I had to go to school with one of the worst haircuts ever. Even as I write about this experience, the feelings of embarrassment come back to me, and it hurts. I was in the eighth grade; I remember the day before the haircut like it was yesterday.
By Maelyn Jeffers5 years ago in Humans
Listen to Zayn's Icarus Falls Now!
Listen to ZAYN'S ICARUS FALLS NOW!! Have you ever listened to an album and never had to skip a song? Even though this album came out a long time ago, I can’t help but listen to it almost every day; this is my first time expressing how I feel about any music. The albums have a lot of songs, but there are so many that I couldn't resist. I want to share my favorite songs from the album and what they mean to me.
By Maelyn Jeffers5 years ago in Beat
Giving Life the Bitch Stare
One of the things I can’t stand is how life has a way of slapping you in the face and then leaving you with the red mark and agonizing pain. Lately, life has been slapping me in the face, and I am not sure why. In my opinion, life slaps me in the face when I set my mind on something and it doesn’t work out or when I swear to start my day off positive and BAM! Something annoying and unnecessary happens. When these different things happen, I want to give life the bitch stare; I want to look at my life and say, "Come on now, give me a break because you’re doing the most and I am at my breaking point." I often have these moments because I realize that I am not in a position in my life that I want to be in, and for some reason, life keeps on going no matter what. I want to give life the bitch stare when it takes a toll on people that are close to me, mainly when their life moments affect my life moments. For example, my husband is going through a lot right now, and if anyone hears his story, you would honestly think that life is purposely screwing him over. My husband and I are a team, so we are going to get through these things together, but damn can we get a break for just a moment? Today I found myself just sitting inside the house all day because it was just way too hot to go outside. A part of me wanted to take the risk and go out with the kids anyway, but instead of doing that I stayed in the house and thought to myself, "Why is my life so dull right now?" This moment made me want to give life the bitch stare because I wanted to be closer to my family, which ended up leading me to the state of Georgia at the beginning of summer; so, of course, it was going to be crazy hot outside. Life has been kicking my ass so bad lately because I don’t have any control of it and I am not sure when I finally will. I want to scream at my life and tell it, "Please be patient." Finally, I want to scrunch up my face, roll my eyes, and roll my neck as I give my life the final bitch stare, hoping that it takes the hint and straightens itself out.
By Maelyn Jeffers5 years ago in Motivation
The Moment I Haven't Been Waiting on...
The moment that I’ve been dreading since August 2009 is coming. The moment that seemed so far away is now quickly surfacing in the horizon. What moment might you ask? The moment that my stepdad is getting out of prison. The year of 2019 marks the 10th and final year that my stepdad will be completing in prison. He received a 10-year sentence for unlawful touching of a child despite all the other horrible things that he’s done to my sisters and me.
By Maelyn Jeffers5 years ago in Psyche
Doing It Right This Time
As a parent have you ever felt wrong about the things that you couldn't do for your first child? When you think about it, the first child is always the most memorable, because at times you never see him, her, or them coming. I am 23 years old, and I just had my second child July 7th, 2018 @ 6:30 PM. My first child is six years old; this is a big gap because I had my son when I was 17 years old. Being pregnant at 16 was very traumatic for me but looking back I know that my son was a blessing. He put me on the right path and brought me the stability that I needed in my life as crazy as that may seem. At the age of 16, I wasn't prepared to have a baby at all. I had only known my son's father for a month, and I was still naive and a child but I've always been mature, so it didn't ruin my life. One of the main thoughts I had, when I was pregnant the first time, was, how am I going to take care of this baby? I didn't have any job experience and wasn't old enough to be hired for a job, so I was already heading down a struggling path. While I was pregnant with my son, I was still in high school, so this was hard enough because I was dealing with nosy people all the time. I didn't get to enjoy being pregnant, my mom was my biggest supporter, and she helped me through everything. However, I never had money to myself, so I didn't get to feed my cravings, have a baby shower or take maternity pictures. I also didn't get to shop for my baby because I wasn't the one bringing in any money. My mom was my rock, and she did as much as she could. When I got pregnant, I was staying with a family member because my mom was getting ready to deploy. The funny thing is that when I found out, I was pregnant my mom's deployment was canceled. After my mom got the news, my siblings and I moved back with my mom, so my son's father and I had a long distance relationship on and off throughout my pregnancy. This meant that I didn't get to go through my pregnancy with the person that I made this child with. My family experienced all my trimesters and pregnancy moments. When I had my son January 27th, 2012 my mom and sisters were there not my son's father. As my son got older, I still wasn't able to provide for him because I was still trying to figure out how to provide for myself and get my life together to get him together. I went through a lot between the ages of 18-20 so that I could provide for my son. These moments were tough but, my son was my biggest motivation to stay strong. The stress of being a first-time young parent was very hard, and I'll honestly say I got it all together when my son turned 3. It took three years for me to feel like I was doing right by my son. Now that he is 6 I can honestly say I am proud of myself for the provider that I've become. My daughter has provided me with a whole new meaning of pregnancy, adulthood, and parenting. The first difference I felt when I find out I was pregnant with my daughter was that I made the decision to have her and it wasn't by surprise. I am also married to the love of my life, so I am in a stable relationship. Finding out I was pregnant with my daughter made me realize my life was complete and stable enough to have another baby. I got to experience a partner with me through this pregnancy. I was able to feed my cravings and shop for my baby like crazy. I was able to take beautiful maternity pictures and get the amazing 4D ultrasound pictures. Most importantly I was able to experience bringing a life into the world with the man that I made my beautiful daughter with. My daughter reminds me daily that I did stuff right this time. My kids are my world and even at 23 years old with two kids I feel good, I am a great mom, and it is because of my son that I can be the mom that I am today. In the future I want one more child, I wonder if there will be another difference with baby #3.
By Maelyn Jeffers6 years ago in Families
The Worst Summer
The summer that I will never forget started with the stupidest mistake. As a young girl at the age of 13, I was just like any other girl. I had secrets that any girl this age would have, so I decided to write about them in a diary on the computer. During this time, we had the floppy disc, so I had a pink one, and I used this as my diary. Every night before I went to bed I would use this to vent about school and anything else that I was going through. All the things I was going through included having a boring summer, wanting to talk to my crush, and how I didn't want to live with my abusive stepfather. I wrote about how I didn't like being abused and molested and how I didn't want to be mean to my mom. My stepfather didn't like us to talk to our mother or spend time with her at all so if we did we were in trouble. Anyways, I can remember this day like it was yesterday I was sitting on the computer and I decided it was getting late and I needed to take a shower, so I got up and did so. Little did I know I left my floppy disc in the computer and that my stepfather was going to take advantage and read it. Honestly, I believe that a day or so went by before I realized that I lost my diary, the day I was reminded was when my stepfather called me into my room and told me to close the door. When he said close the door you knew that one or two things was going to happen, one I was about to be molested etc. or two I was about to get one of the worst beatings of my life. I remember being questioned for hours that night about which boys I liked and if I loved my mom or if I loved him. My sisters were also questioned as well but then he finally brought up the floppy disc and that’s when I knew why all these things were happening. That night I was in for one of the worst summers of my life. That night my stepfather introduced a new kind of punishment, he told me to go outside and just stand there. I had no shoes on or anything and I was just told to stand there. This was one of the first times I literally watched the sky turn from night to day. I was still questioned a million times and I was beaten by his fist and told that from that point forward I was in another boat. For him this meant that I was no longer his family and I was more like an enemy because I wrote about in my diary. He couldn’t stand the thought of someone being “against him.” Anyway, long story short my summer was filled with unlikable beatings. I was beaten naked with a belt almost every day. I was raped, and I was once tied to the post of parent’s bed and beaten naked. One day I thought I could get a break from the pain so I screamed that I had to use the bathroom thinking, “Ok he’ll stop beating me.” Nope! That didn’t happen. Instead, he came in the bathroom and beat me while I was sitting on the toilet, and then, after, he proceeded to tie me back up to the bed and gagged me with a sock so my little brother wouldn’t hear me in the room. It seemed like this summer all he had was time and I felt like it was never going to end. I wasn’t allowed to watch TV, eat, or talk to anyone, I just had to sit there until night time came and I was sent outside because my stepfather “couldn’t stand the thought of me.” This summer was filled with even more unthinkable things, but I can’t even continue typing because the pain is coming back……
By Maelyn Jeffers6 years ago in Psyche
Through the Television
Has anyone ever watched television and thought to themselves, hmm what if I did that? In my childhood, I dealt with a lot of pain and suffering. The pain was from my stepfather, this kind of pain is something that haunts me every day, and I always think to myself could I have done more. I am obsessed with ID Discovery if anyone doesn't know what this is it is a channel that plays all kinds of crime shows. Some of these shows are about people who've survived traumatic events. While watching these shows I get jealous sometimes. Why do I get jealous? I get jealous because I didn't have the courage to save my sisters when they were getting beaten and raped, I didn't have the courage to tell the teacher the truth when he or she asked me why I had a black eye. I remember when I was in elementary school and I got called to the nurse's office. As I walked to the office, I became nervous because I knew why I knew why I was getting sent there. The day before my stepdad put his hands on my sister and me. I can't remember what it was about exactly, but I know the punishment was brutal. This punishment left a big scar on my face because my stepdad hit me in the face with a back scratcher (it looks like a fork). The teacher asked me before she sent me to the nurse's office what happened and I told her my sister and I got into a fight. Fast forwarding to when school was over I can remember sitting on the school bus and looking out the window. As I was looking out the window, I saw the nurses I was speaking to walking with a police officer and the principal. My stomach immediately dropped, and I began to panic because I knew they were talking about me. As I got off the bus and walked through the front door, my stepdad greeted my sister and me and prepared us with a story.
By Maelyn Jeffers6 years ago in Psyche