At the end of a long day, there’s nothing better than heading home, relaxing, and unwinding. There’s something comforting about being surrounded by things you chose, that have meaning to you, and that you can use without having to ask permission.
Since I began my life as a digital nomad, just about every person I talk to tells me how brave I am and how they’d never be able to do something like that. Thing is, I don’t feel brave. I don’t feel like the person they seem to think I am. Taking a flying leap into an unknown, unconventional way of doing things wasn’t how I thought my life would unfold. In fact, I often sit back and wonder, “How’d I get here?” and “What exactly was I thinking again?”
When does “our path” begin? Is it when we “start fresh” or “start over”? That’s often when we hear people talk about having “started their path”—whatever that might be for them.
Growing up, to be loved required me to make sure others were happy first. If I expressed my own emotions, they were used against me. If I expressed my own needs, they were considered a nuisance and silenced. I was rewarded and acknowledged for chores well done, good grades, and making others happy. It was all about what I did to meet others’ expectations and make them happy, not about who I was being.
When I left, there were a lot of reasons why, but in truth, I couldn’t really articulate the real reason that I needed to leave. All I really knew was that I had to and that it was the right thing for me to be doing for me at that time. All of the other reasons that came to mind were the excuses to justify what I had to do, but they weren’t the “it” behind it.
Motherhood: it’s such a complicated and complex relationship, for both children and for women, isn’t it? I know it has been for me anyway.