I was dreaming about meeting gods and realized something...
I was dreaming one night, and while having this dream, I saw and heard several deities. I met and talked with each of them as if they had been family. This was when I realized they were. They were in a sense that they came from my subconscious self, and they were trying to show me important things about the events in my life in the current situation I was in.
I never really felt so comfortable in anyone’s arms until you held me Full of love, emotion A deep caring for me as a real person
A Lot Can Change...
"Change is painful, but nothing is as painful as staying stuck somewhere you don’t belong." - Mandy Hale I learned that my body is changing a lot since March this year. It's a good change and a stressful one at that. It changed who I was into who I am now and has changed my way of thinking. Because of this alteration in my mindset and body, I've come to realize that there was one person in my life that does me a world of good and another that does me no good at all. And I have called them both my friends. And currently still do. They both happen to be men in my life that I've had relationships with, both current and past. My friends are both good guys. But one has done so much wrong to me that I've had people tell me to stop being friends with him altogether. He is the one who gave me my mental illness and the issues I have with most men now. And he is still incredibly possessive of me and only informs me of things when it's convenient for him. And despite all this, he always feels like he has to defend himself around me. To me, that's not friendship at all. I think the same way around him as well. Every conversation we try to have peacefully turns to arguments and anger or frustration with each other. I find him incredibly gross most of the time, even though he is my friend. I once loved him but have fallen out of love with him since our last breakup in May 2016. June 2016 would be about when I would move to where he was to make it easier for him to see our daughter.
Dark With Edges of Light
Everyone has had that question asked once or twice. I've had a reasonable amount of time to think mine over seriously. The question being, of course, is if you could have any superpower in the world, what would it be and why?
My Aunt, My Home
I know you're probably tired of reading about my grievances and about my depression, but lately, and especially around this time of year, it is awful, as it is the grim anniversary of my aunt's and grandfather's deaths. My aunt's death was the pivotal point of my downward and ever-spiraling-out-of-control depression. It is the point at which I had lost all sense of any religion and emotionally went rogue.
Beware the Crow with the White Eyes
Everyone knows the story of how the raven with the white eyes steals your voice. Or at least they should. It is a rather sad tale, honestly. It begins with a couple. A man and a woman. Madly in love.
My Crazy Unforgiving Life
You know what this is. Or at least you will know. You have seen it before. A darkness inside that creeps up and bubbles out of you and scares others around you. You always look so unforgiving. Always seem so scary and mad all the time. You are kind. But life has not been so much as that to you.
April 9th, 2019. That is when he passed away. It has been about a year and nine months. I remember a lot as time passes. He had a green thumb. He even helped me with my small garden too. It had the sweetest basil, the tastiest green onions, and delicious snap peas.