Lindsay Rae Brown
Lindsay Brown is a freelance writer who loves to give people a chuckle with relatable stories about everyday life.
Dickless and Alone, They Die After Spreading Their Seed
Please, imagine if you will, you’re a spritely young Argonaut Octopus named Phil. You’ve grown over the course of a lifetime, only one inch in length—a mere fraction of your female counterparts size.
The Love Story of Leslie Knope
I never wanted to obsess over Parks and Recreation, like I did The Office. I didn’t think I’d even like Parks and Rec after the first episode, in all honesty. You know how you find a show you quickly become obsessed with and then try to recreate that obsession with something similar? Well, usually, it doesn’t work out. Where was Dwight and his crazy beet farm antics? I wanted Creed in the background saying or doing something unbelievably strange and outlandish.
To Overcome Writer's Block, Draw Some Squiggly Lines
I am sitting at the computer, my back is to her, she is drawing. Her ten-year-old fingers move without thought while she carves out imaginary worlds the way ancient sages did upon cave walls. The scratching of her pencil reminds me that I have work to do, so I turn my attention back to the glowing screen and focus on my work.
Farting In Bed with Boys
I wouldn’t say that I’m prudish. I wear my hair down and enjoy the occasional raunchy convo with the girls. I’m never one to scoff at a joke made in poor taste because those jokes are usually the funniest.
I Woke Up to Strange Voices in my Home at 4 AM
There are strange voices in my house. My brain registers this immediately — men’s voices, but not my husband’s. My heart doesn’t so much thud against my rib cage but instead wedges itself there. It’s pumping wildly while my brain tries to work out why I hear these non-husband voices in my home at 4 o’clock in the morning.
Never Be A Fish Out of Water Again with the Art of Adaptation
I am crying in a tiny bathroom in the back of a bakery, asking myself how the hell I will do this business owner thing. Burnt cakes clutter the prep table in the kitchen, deflated choux pastry and the soggy remnants of what should have been a loaf of sun-dried tomato bread sully every available space in that tiny work area.
Growing Up In A Tourist Town Taught Me That The Customer Is Never Right
Sylvan Lake, Alberta, is a beautiful town full of wonderful touristy things to keep oneself occupied. Photo Credit: Elijah Brown (Sylvan Lake, AB)
Still Balls Deep In Love
Sometimes I worry that over the last 12 years, mine and my husband’s relationship has shifted in some detrimental way. Ten years ago, when we were twenty-somethings, with two young babes, we had so much hope pushing us forward.