Just a nerdy, coffee obsessed mother of two active daughters. Aquatics for a profession, but with dreams of becoming a published writer. Gamer, knitter, anime watcher, book reader, I love anything that will make me laugh.
An Ani-Con Love Story
Disclaimer: The names of the transportation app, anime convention and all names of places mentioned are fictional. The anticipation courses through my body as the driver of my Cloud ride, a local transportation app service, pulls in alongside the curb, ready to let me off. "Thanks." I say, opening the car door and lifting my head towards the bright sun. He smiles at me in his rearview mirror and gives me a small wave. "Have fun! My daughter told me all about it and it seems like a big event." I return his smile and exit the navy blue vehicle. "Only one of the biggest of the year." I respond and grab my Mad Hatter themed backpack. "Have a great day!" With those last words, I close the door and step up onto the sidewalk. A smile forming on my face, I position my backpack on my shoulders and merge into the crowd.
Let's Pretend That Character Is Real
Why does everything always have to be the same? I think to myself as I open my car door, place my coffee mug in my drink holder and slide into the driver's seat. Glancing at my purse on the passenger's side beside me, a sigh escapes my lips. What happened to the adventures that were supposed to come with adulthood? All of that fantasizing about doing whatever I wanted turned into daily work shifts and the monotony of running a household. All of those dreams of traveling the world became a reality of washing dishes and folding laundry. Am I really destined to do the same things every day?
Locking The Door
The anxiety courses through my body as I gently shut the door behind me. "Control yourself." I whisper, my hands coming up to cradle my head. "Don't have an attack over this. She's just a child, she doesn't understand. It will be okay, you'll have a better day today. You'll see." I close my eyes, clinging to those words. It's only 8 AM and my husband hardly left ten minutes ago to go donate plasma then head to his full time job. He won't be home until about 7:30 this evening. Since I'm the one off work today, the children are under my care and I'm on my own.
Life Is Not Over
Some days I just want to give up. I want to say "Screw it, I don't care anymore." I'll wake up to my morning alarm, press the snooze button, roll over and pretend nothing matters, that I have no responsibilities, that there are no children who rely on me, no job I need to go to, no apartment that requires cleaning. I'll put every effort into forgetting about the dishes in the sink that need to be washed or the basket of clean clothes that need to be folded. I'll imagine I'm just an empty shell taking up space in this vast universe.
Life Is Not Over
"...And you're how old?" If there's one question I've heard more than any other, it's that one. For as long as I can remember, I have been a nerdy person. My love for books formed as soon as I was taught to read and my interest in anime and videogames developed as soon as I was introduced to them at the tender age of 11. Every spare moment I had as a child went into these three categories. Well, when I could get my hands on them, at least.
Life Is Not Over
Five years have gone by since my world was turned upside down. Five years have gone by since everything I ever thought I knew about myself or the world changed. Five years have gone by since I became a mother and four years have gone by since I almost chose to give up completely.