For as long as I can remember the second thoughts in my head became too overwhelming to handle, I'd dig out a piece of my hair and hold onto it for dear life. I would take a strand like it was a flotation device thrown out to me at sea and aggressively start twirling. This type of self soothing was something that happened subconsciously and I never seemed to take notice until a classmate of mine pointed it out to me. We were in seventh grade and she asked me ‘why I twirled my hair like that’. I distinctly remember telling her I do it when I'm thinking. From that point on when she saw me twirling she'd ask me what I was thinking about more as a rhetorical question to point out that I was ridiculously twirling my hair again.