Caribbean-American(she/her)+Actor+Life Coach student. I value quality over quantity, simplicity over complexity but the perplexicity of life shows that the proof is in the numbers. Provoking thought and creating change, one story at a time.
I shouldn’t miss him, I think to myself as I try not to text him... We still share a storage unit so we do have to talk at least once a month. My history of dating emotionally unavailable men or men who lie about having emotions is vast but came to a boiling point with “The X.” We will refer to him as The X in this article. Well, who is he?
2020 Taught Me...
This year, 2021, will be all about personal commitment and challenging myself. We all face challenges so why not choose ones for improvement? I want to be more intentional... I listened to a masterclass on Alignment in business yesterday and it’s a balancing act really. Being the wanderer that I am, I usually just “go with the flow.” I’m always “lost in the right direction.” I can’t say that pursuing my interests hasn’t led me anywhere I don’t wish to be but setting intentions helps me manifest and keeps me aligned with my purpose. I would also like more self-awareness, can never do without it really especially as an actor. I wrote about some challenges that I inadvertently set for myself last year and their outcomes. Read about it here:
New Years Eve
It’s 7:15pm and I’m watching the same thing I’ve been watching for the past week, the only difference is today’s date. “I’ll see you next year!” My roommate gave me a hug and said he probably won’t see me until next year. Yup, you guessed it, today is December 31st 2020 the last day of the year. I feel a sadness because I’m afraid that 10 years from now, we’ll forget what happened this year and it will feel like a faded memory.
I’m very protective about labeling myself so let me start by saying that I’m probably not a feminist... I am open to feminist exploration... I’m pretty sure that a feminist would have something good to say about their period. Here’s what I have to say: I got my period twice this month. I don’t remember the last time that’s ever happened. I feel “savage” when I’m on my period, like I’m out for blood (no pun intended).
I’ve been obsessed with lighting candles for the past two months. I light a candle about 3 times a day. I have scented candles from DW, Sand + Fog, Briteside and M.WG. My favorite brand is DW Home Candles and my favorite scent is Vanilla Maple. There’s something about the ritual of lighting candles that I can’t seem to resist so I’ve decided to do some research about it.
What's In A Ring?
They say that "good things come to those who wait." I say, "for what?" I could write an entire article about my lack of patience but today I would like to write about the fact that I've been waiting for my ring to get here since December 23rd. Not only did my ring miss Christmas but it's said date of arrival is today, the 28th. The first, new shipping date of arrival was the 26th, the day after Christmas, I could live with that. Today when I checked tracking, the status was, "in transit" not "out for delivery" so now... I'm done waiting.
I do... Celebrate Christmas
It's Christmas Eve and just like everything else, I'm celebrating in pretense because well, past this year, I've never celebrated Christmas! It wasn't really by choice either, my immediately family- Mom, Dad and brother, we have never celebrated Christmas. From as far back as I can remember, my family never celebrated anything, not even birthdays. I grew up in the Caribbean on a very small island named Antigua. I remember kids asking me how it felt to not celebrate anything because Caribbean people are very ceremonious. I don't recall ever "missing out," my parents did a great job celebrating life. We had parties at the house all the time, kids parties, potato sack races, racing with an egg on a spoon, a one-legged race where two people tie their legs together and try to run as a team. I had a great childhood, a lot of fun times and a lot of freedom.
It's Christmas time, queue the Christmas music, movies, all things sparkly, snowflakes and Santa's nice-list but there is one thing that is guaranteed to put a damper on the Christmas spirit- flakey friends! Friends who "flake," what do I mean? It's a trademark for people who live in California, or so it seems. If I'm ever heard complaining about it out loud, I receive the reassuring words, "oh yeah, it's a California thing." I'm not used to having flakey friends at all. I'm used to friends who want to spend time doing things together. Friends who can't wait to finish work to hang out or who want you to drop by just to say hi!