I'm just a single mom tryna make it. Come with me on my journey through life in writing... "A dream deferred is not a dream denied"
Black Women in Music
Black people in general have contributed so much to music. Black people have given their lives in the name of music. Black entertainment is a whole vibe, you hear me? If you go to other countries, you see our influence. People emulate our (I am a black person) style of dress, our hairstyles, our bodies. Where do you think full lips and big butts came from?? We inspired rap. We inspired the beats. All that bass you hear? That's drums honey! We move our hips and pout our lips to the rhythm. Y'all see us!
What it 'do?
Black women are different. Black women are unique, and we black women are particular! Especially particular about our hair. I had the same stylist from elementary school to high school graduation. I ONLY got a new one as an adult because the one I had moved from the shop up the street from my parents house. My next stylist came as a recommendation from a close coworker of mine at the time. She ended up being really good, so I continued to go back. She was my hair stylist for about 5 years. She stopped doing hair. That really sucked. As I said, we black women are particular about our hair which means we are particular about the stylist! Since I had lost my last two stylists, I had no one to do my hair. I learned how to do some stuff myself. I was my own "stylist" for a long time. Social media came through and changed the game. Social media gave us instant access to people. I could find a stylist, look at pictures of her work, read reviews AND book an appointment in the same damn place and the same damn time! That's how I saw Cynell. Ms Cynell Robertson. She is the sister in law of a person I went to school with. Our virtual friendship was completely by chance. She is a mother. She is a business owner. She is a hair stylist. Hair and Nellz is her own creation. She owns it. She runs it. She has a big personality and an even bigger smile, a positive attitude and confidence in her voice. She has a cozy salon that always makes you feel right at home. You thirsty? She got you. Music to ease your mind, reading materials or just good conversation? She got you! She has been doing hair since the age of fifteen. She is now a thirty-eight year old mother of four. She once worked in a local hospital and just did hair on the weekends. Hair has always been a part of her life. But, upon losing that job, she took that as a sign to pursue hair full time. That is how Hair and Nellz was born. As moms, we are more than willing to do whatever it takes for our children, and baby? That is what sis did. I would go to the end of the earth and back for mine...ok?
Black in Business...the dopest
Inspiration can quite literally come from anywhere. Inspiration can come from anyone at any time. I love to write. I have been writing stories and poems since I was ten years old. It has always been a dream of mine to be an author. I want people to know who I am, and to read, know and love my work. I'm working on it! One day a few weeks ago, I was doing what I always do, I was simply scrolling social media. I saw a page advertising something called "vocal". Curious, I clicked the link to check it out and to see what it was. As the saying goes, "the rest was history." I created my profile and started writing. I write so fast and grip the pen so tight that my hand hurts and my fingers lock up. I just stop for a second or two and then get back to it. I told myself that by this time next year, people are going to know my name and they will be BEGGING for my next story. I believe things happen how and when they are supposed to. I am trying to make the best use of social media to promote myself. I post a video or photo with my vocal link attached. I am starting from scratch. Progress is slow but it is steady. I am grateful...
Because We Said So!
Women become single moms for many different reasons. Being a single mother is tough. It can be really tough! I am a single mother. I make it look easy...Many struggles plague single moms. The main struggle is usually finances. The single mom is the primary provider for her children. There is only one paycheck in the house. That single paycheck has to cover shelter, utilities, food and the miscellaneous items for her children. She has to cook and clean. She has to work, spend time with her children all while eating healthy and staying slim. Whew chile!
“I love you mommy!”
Children are so resilient. They are the best at giving completely unconditional love. The best thing I have ever done to date is to become a mom. I regret nothing about that. I had my first daughter at the age of 20. I was out of high school and in college. People don't talk about postpartum depression a whole lot. It is real though and more new moms suffer from it than we think. I suffered from it. As I said, I gave birth at the age of 20. Finding out I was pregnant made me grow up really quickly. The fact that another person was going to be depending on me for every aspect of their life terrified me. I was still kind of a child myself honestly. Too late to turn back now though. The baby was real and growing inside me. I immediately got to work and started making moves. I was a manger at Popeyes at the time. I was making $8.25 an hour. That wasn't enough to take care of a child in my mind. It was barely enough for just me and I was still living at home with my parents. I left traditional college and enrolled in a trade school. I walked across the stage at 5 months pregnant! I became a nationally registered certified medical assistant and phlebotomist. I was hired in a multi-specialty clinic a month later. My pay rate was now $13.50. Next on my list was a car. I bought my car in January, gave birth in February and signed the lease to my apartment when my baby was 11 days old. Phew! Mama was busy.
Always pay it forward
I'm sure you have the phrase "pay it forward" at least once in your lifetime. "Paying it forward" simply means to pass on a good deed. As in someone has helped you in some way so you now in turn, help someone else. Pretty simple concept. I am a single mom of two. A few years back, I lost my job. This caused a chain reaction in my life. I ended up losing my house due to not being able to pay the rent, and my car was reposessed due to non-payment as well. Here is my story:
In The Club
Ok... So its like 2007 right? My best friend (at the time) and I decided to hit the club. It was a typical Friday night. My mom was baby sitting so I was free to get my grove on. This particular club we liked to go to was all you could drink for twenty bucks ( I know right). I had on a black and purple crop top and black capris. I was definitely feeling myself. Music is bumping, and the drinks are good, all is well. Of course the drinks aren't super strong because they are bottomless. If you wanted top shelf, you could pay for it. My little free were good enough for me. Naturally, after a few cups of liquor, you gotta pee. The bathroom was across the dance floor. No big deal. I'd been here at least half dozen times so I knew exactly were to go.
"Ouch!" My voice sounds like someone else's as it echoes in my brain. "You're hurting me!" I'm screaming in anguish as the man I thought loved me is yanking me out of the bathroom by my previously broken arm. The pain has increased so much now that tears are falling from my eyes. He drags me across the carpet. He didn't even let me pull my pants up. Here I am, crying on the floor trying to hurriedly up my pajama bottoms and panties because when he grabbed me, I was sitting on the toilet. All this is happening in front of my children. I watch them watching me in horror. I see the fear, anger and confusion on my oldest daughters face. I can almost hear her thoughts, "leave my mother alone before I beat your ass in here!" The youngest is only two so she just cries. She walks over to me and says, "mommy, how did you fall?" She then turns to him and thanks him for "catching" me. Bless her innocent little heart! She has no idea that she has just witnessed the domestic violence that I have been hiding for weeks. How did I get here? What happened to me?