Kiara Ramos

  • Kiara Ramos
    Published 6 months ago
    The Nerve

    The Nerve

    Without getting into the tedious details of what this story could possibly be about, let's just say for those out there going through a toxic relationship...drop it if you haven't done so already. Little background, 2015 I started talking to a guy who will remain unnamed. Fast forward five years later and once again broken up with the same dude. Keep in mind this guy has cheated, lied, never put the effort in like I did and was just selfish. (Cancers, gotta love em) But anyways moving on, throughout these five years, I've lost friends, my health declined, I was mentally, emotionally, and physically drained to the point where I found myself only thinking about him. The true nature of the issue was my codependency that we both shared with one another, throughout the years we had both grown to love each other but it was clear that I was repeating a vicious cycle of toxicity that had been in my life since I was born. This man was someone I looked to in order to escape my own issues and he knew it. While he had his own life problems we still decided to stay together and work it out, even after the cheating and lying. (yeah...I know) So after two chances I finally decided to give him a final chance and to my surprise things were perfect, I was in love with this person as was he. But as our relationship goes, theres always something to come and ruin it. Now fast forward to February 2020, things were perfect we were going on dates, minimal arguing, we talked about the future. Then suddenly no word from him, a day later I get told that someone had told him all the people that I had been seeing while we were BROKEN UP! Now all I can do is laugh because even though I may not have been completely honest about what I had done, I told him the basics not details and kept it moving. Keep in mind this man had been lying to me a majority of the relationship so him trying to right his wrongs recently yeah was a great first step but was something he should've done before. Anywho, now I'm in the hot seat, telling him I never cheated even though I was talking to a guy about an issue I had in my relationship, it was never flirting or cheating, just a conversation. I found myself trying to fight and keep the relationship together even after his low blows and disrespect, until I thought. "WOW, the fucking audacity." This man really put me through hell and back and the first thing he hears about me I get this shit. The mere thought of me cheating or even talking to a guy was enough to "hurt" him and his ego. PFT not so fun when it's done back to someone who's toxic ways define who they are. So fast forward a week later and a few texts here and there, needless to say girl/boy/whatever you identify as, DROP THEM. It's not worth the stress, tears, and missed happy moments, misery loves company. Don't make yourself so accessible, summer 2020 is coming glow up, travel, go out and DO YOU cause I guarantee you they're not thinking about you sis. And for those who are in that post breakup phase, DO NOT text them, this is your sign, if they really cared they'd hit you up. There's a saying my grandma always told me in Spanish so I'll translate, (El que to quiere to busca) meaning the one that really loves you will look for YOU. Oh and if you're the toxic one in the relationship...just stay single thanks.