Stepping into the responsibilities of being an adult comes at different ages for different people for a variety of reasons. It includes, among many things, living on your own (with or without roommates - it’s about financial responsibility), making purchasing choices based on what you can afford, while also considering the future, and earning your own income to cover your expenses. It often means making sacrifices where needs are considered before wants.
I pulled another box from the closet with sigh. I was so mad at her. I clenched my hands into fists and grimaced. I pummeled the box briefly before opening it. No, no - of course she didn’t die on purpose, of course I was sad. I was devastated and wished I could take back the last bitter words I said. I loved her so much, and missed her like crazy. She died thinking I hated her; eyes glaring, my face twisted in an ugly image because she said “No” to me in the morning before she left for work.
When I grew up, we attended huge family gatherings for Thanksgiving. Most were direct family, which was quite large as it was, but often included many shirt-tail relatives and friends. It was fun. Growing up in the Midwest, the fare included a lot of creamy, sugary, butter-laden dishes. And one Aunt always brought the candied yams - Yuck! But a lot of people like them. We always had apple/banana salad in honor of my Grandmother who had passed. It was gross, and I wasn’t alone in my distaste of it, made with apples, bananas, lettuce, gluttonous amounts of sugar mixed with mayo or Miracle Whip. When I got old enough to voice an opinion, I refused to eat it anymore, inspite of the vocalizations of my Aunts telling me I must eat it and like it unless I really didn’t love my grandma. I loved my Grandma very much and she wouldn’t make me eat that crap!
Clutter as Inspiration
I want to write. I really do, but everywhere I look is clutter and a piled mess. Dust covers shelves, and doghair carpets the floor, dirty dishes fill the sink. I can’t think. But I want too. First, I guess I need to clear the clutter; clean up this mess.
Colds are Annoying
Today, I have a terrible cold. I don’t even know why I’m writing this. I should be resting. Especially, like whenever I get sick, my eyes are affected and I can’t focus on words, so I must blow up the view on my screen to very large print. And following a train of thought is very difficult. Again, I don’t even know why I’m writing this. It will probably not make much sense.
Obsolete? Maybe I Am … I nearly earned an Associate’s Degree in Website Design - simple computer programming that was just on the brink of incorporating CSS. That’s how “old” I am in computer years. I did already hold a Bachelor’s degree in Biology from a state University, but it wasn’t enough to get me a decent job, making the amount of money I wanted. I decided to enter the Computer Programming field through a program offered at the Tech School in the town where I lived. I believed that would provide many options for employment, as well as for becoming successfully self-employed. It was a sensible choice. Sensibility is not my strong point.
Nearly Up In Smoke
I never did drugs - except the one time. Alcohol, yes; too much. And I tried smoking cigarettes when I hit the bar scene, but that was gross and I never was “good” at it, so I quit trying. I still don’t understand the allure of smoking, especially as you get older, but to each his own, I guess. The same is said for drinking. I don’t much care for beer anymore, rum or cheap vodka, but I do like wine. I used to drink beer all the time. And shots of Tequila. Guys were impressed. I don’t do that anymore.