I've recently released to the world something I've tried to hide for the vast majority of my life. After feeling the sense of relief that vulnerability gave me, I want to keep sharing all the parts that intertwine and make me who I am.
You Can Help Me by Being Considerate.
“How can I help you through this?” is probably the most frustrating question to hear during a moment of helplessness. Imagine you have undergone a medical procedure that will create some formidable barriers to get through for a period of your life, not just for you but also for those who interact with you. The healing process involves giving up some everyday necessities and having to alter others. People are always telling you, “you’re so strong,” “you’re so brave,” “if anyone can do this, it is you.” After hearing this so often, it begins to root this feeling of being unable to tell people what you need to get through this difficult time. The inability to find the right way to ask for help stems from the fear of not being as strong or brave as everyone says you are.
It is okay to think that.
It seems like there is always something. On December 31, 2020, I was writing a celebratory post on my fundraiser page. Now January 4, 2021, I am back in this pit of overwhelmingness. As soon as I felt like I could see the light at the end of the tunnel, I remembered what was still to come. How can something so necessary and vital be so challenging to reach? Why is it that when you “pay your dues,” you still end up at the bottom of whatever mountain you are trying to climb? Why is it that you even are hurt when you have endless amounts of love and support from hundreds of people because there is one person who hasn’t shown that love or support? Why is it that when society says go to college, get married, buy a house, start a family, you have to choose between the “American dream” or your overall health, both of which cost relatively the same? When does the battle end? When does the new beginning start? How many obstacles and how much heartbreak does one person have to endure before they should not have to go through anymore? Who even gets to decide something like that?
A Personal Prelude
Hey world, my name is Kayla Adams. I am a current Asheville, NC local, running enthusiast, dog mom, better half to an amazing and even better person, daughter, sister, grand-daughter, friend, and much more. While blessed to play so many different roles in life, I also have one heck of a story to tell. So if you have a spare moment to listen, I would like to tell you my story and show how each of my roles has impacted how I got to where I am today and why I am deciding to tell my story now.