To the Walmart Cashier in charge of self checkout
I’m not stealing anything, I have enough money to purchase this mesh laundry bag, extra strength glue stick, and XActo knife. I know, you see me fidgeting, fumbling around. But I have no intentions of thievery. My intentions are far worse you see. Well maybe not to you, but to me. Detrimental to my very being. See, right now a battle is raging in my head. Bullets and grenades shot and thrown from each side of my mind. The trenches filled with the corpses both positivity and negativity. When I placed this knife into my cart, there were no ill thoughts in my heart. But as I began the journey to this line, the devil crept into my mind. He’s daring me to buy this thing. This knife in my hand, its perfect blade. He’s reminding me of older days, showing me similarities. To me, this knife takes after razor blades. And I have no intentions of harming myself, but with this knife upon my shelf the possibility gets a bit more concrete. One of these days when the devil comes before me, I might just be right on the edge of where he wants me and do this thing. And take this blade from where I’ve left it, bring it to my bed, my desk or my closet. And let the devil run his course. Or I might not, but I’m not sure. I think this is what scares me more. So no I’m not stealing, I promise, I’m just raging wars inside my head. Setting this knife down on this shelf. That’s not my shelf. To eliminate this feeling of doubt. Purchasing this mesh laundry bag and then leaving. And I should be proud. But I’m not.
It’s so hard to keep kids entertained. My boys have all the toys in the world(much to my messy houses’ discontent) and they still come into my room asking to do something else. Recently I have been trying to take them to do something with them once or twice a week and today’s pick was Enchanted Island! I’m sure I’m not the only one with restless kids that’s looking for fun places to take them to that isn’t going to make your pocketbook cry.
Death to faith in humanity
I don't understand any of it. Not a single person alive makes sense. Our world is convoluted and wretched and we are all okay with some part of it's corruption, myself included. We lie and cheat and steal and give up and hurt others and pity ourselves justifying everything that we do by reminding ourselves of what a terrible past we had. We cry on each others shoulders and then slit each others throats and then sit and pout about it and then come back a week later and pretend it never happened. We bite The hand that feeds us regretting it only when it's too late, we live and laugh and love while we compare our problems to others. We stretch the truth we get away with murder we laugh about it further down the road. We let our pasts haunt us and let our futures be molded by our pasts even though in the present we vow to not let it happen. We make friendships that We want to last 100s of years that really only last 100s of days, and the friends that do last 100s of years hurt each other to the point of no return and still come back looking for a shoulder to cry on about what they did wrong. We make a big deal out of something small and don't give to much attention to the big things, we cut our wrists and fight with our fists and cry in agony and seem to enjoy it. We judge people for things that they have done turning a blind eye to what we have done, we create drama and survive on drama but then claim to despise drama. We love and then we don't and then we love again. We forget those who have helped us most and remember those who have wronged us, forgiving is a fake facade to keep our enemies closer to us, we claim we'd take a bullet for someone but when the time comes we are the one shooting. our minds play tricks on us, we assume and We fight until we don't remember why and then we put down our fists and start drinking again. We are shallow and hateful and selfish, and some of us even hate ourselves for it, but it's a never-ending cycle that doesn't show any signs of stopping...and the worst part about it is even with all the chaos and murder and the backstabbing, we are all still so happy...
Storm in the Sky
I stood and watched the sun fell behind ominous grey clouds that merged against an obsidian night sky. Wind howling from every direction disturbing the peace of wilted leaves. Leaves that once rested upon the ground now rustled hastily across the cement of the sidewalk beneath my feet. I walked alone and listened to the trees. In a way, they were almost speaking to me. But Whispering sweet nothings? Or warnings of some strange passerby who might sneak up behind me this eerie night? I never did find out.
She stood like a statue, eyes cool as ice. Inhaled the sweet aroma of coconut shampoo, taking each breath as if it were all planned ahead of time. Her thumbs caressed the needle with such care and ease. She was ready. Vigilant. Lips curled into a smile that quickly became a sneer when she heard the front door open and then close. Her heartbeat remained steady and her breathing calm as the sound of footsteps echoed up the stairs. When the door to the bathroom opened and the switch for the light flicked on she knew her time had come, she needed only a moment to allow her eyes to adjust to the light before she made her move. She was swift, eager, yet gentle in her movements. The shower curtain seemed to move on it's own with grace out of her way as she stepped out of the tub and onto the bathroom tile. Her hands shot out, lightning bolts that were gentle yet firm around the mouth of the young girl in front of her. They fell to the ground together with Kim's hand still placed around the girl's mouth. The sound of them hitting the bathroom floor was the only sound to break silence that had fallen on that small space since Kim arrived.