Katie Artis Wise
Flawed. Silly. Funny. Cute. Hopeful. Virgo. Weird. Green Enthusiast. Sarcastic AF. Obsessed with Bravo, The Golden Girls, the beach, The Rolling Stones, cute kitties and pups, history, reading, art... I think that sums it up nicely. 💋💋💋
How to Beat a Drug Test
There are few words in life scarier to someone who smokes weed than “drug test”- especially back in the Dark Ages of Cannabis, when legalization was nothing more than a mere pipe dream. Back in 2012, I was working as a temp in a hospital. The administration liked my work and wanted to make me full time, for which I was grateful. I had a hard time finding work right out of college and really needed this job. I was all in until they told me the next day I’d be subjected to a drug test.
Tortitude: It’s A Thing
Much like the rest of the world, in the spring of 2020, my husband (Matt) and I had all the time in the world, nowhere to go and not much to do except hunker down and do our best to just get through it. Despite all the horrible things happening in the world, we really enjoyed watching movies together, having game nights and going for long walks. Of course, there was doom scrolling. Lots and lots of doom scrolling…
Sammy: Protector of Mice
I grew up hating cats. Despising them, in fact. What was there to like? They were rude, not affectionate and completely aloof animals. And what was the deal with their rough little sandpaper tongues? They were just gross, in my opinion.
Speed Date Disaster
I stood for a minute, hesitating against the hostess stand as a few dozen people milled around the bar, looking as clueless and anxious as I felt. The pungent aroma of fried food invaded my nostrils as I hesitated at the door of the restaurant. I put on makeup and heels for this?
The Unlikeliest Virgo That Ever Virgo'd
Analytical. Perfectionist. Reliable. Hard Worker. Virginal. These are some of the traits that people associate with Virgos. We’re not prideful like Leos and don’t feel the need to constantly be first like Aries. We’re the worker bees of the Zodiac- smack dab in the middle of the twelve signs at number 6, we need everything to be just so. We hate anything disorganized or messy and don’t feel at peace when our daily routine is interrupted. Are we self-critical? We don’t think so, but we’re smart enough to realize it probably comes off that way. Are we picky? You betcha. Do we have excellent memory for detail? OF COURSE!
"he sleeps with his back always facing me like a wall of indifference i pretend not to see we both know that it's there but i pretend not to care
10 Commandments of Wedding Planning
Planning your wedding pre-covid was quite an ordeal, right? It was all about the perfect everything- the dress, the ambiance, the menu, the cake and the guest list! In Covid times, wedding planning is all about safety, restrictions and even more worrying about every little detail. I wrote this several years ago and just wanted to share... and hopefully provide a little bit of optimism and nostalgia for when we can (hopefully) plan weddings the way we did before Covid knocked the world out of whack.
Juliet the Villain- Part 1
SETTING: A FAR AWAY SHOT OF TWO PALATIAL, WELL KEPT HOMES, DIRECTLY ACROSS THE STREET FROM ONE ANOTHER. AS THE NARRATOR'S VOICE BEGINS, WE BEGIN TO CLOSE IN ON BOTH HOMES