Aspiring Writer and Comedian in search of dopamine.
Like Schrodinger’s cat, until I open the box, my hope is neither dead nor alive. I’ve been expecting this package for a while now, it is post-marked no further than the other side of the city. My address is hastily scribbled in black Sharpie, if it were more legible then maybe it would have made it here weeks ago. The paper it has been wrapped in has worn out on one of the corners where it rubbed against other packages in the mail truck, I wonder if the absence of love and care is any indicator of the contents.
Blood In The Water
An ache swelled within Carly McMahon’s ribcage as she walked across the porch, muscle memory navigated her steps to avoid the soft spots where time had been unkind to raw wooden planks in the rainy climate. Coniferous trees loomed around the property; the wind whistled through their branches like whispers telling her to go back inside.
Fool's Gold At The End Of The World
“Children who grow up with nothing don’t know what they’re missing out on.” I tried to remind myself of Kat’s words as I looked at her face reflected in our daughter. I remember how I felt when she first told me we were expecting, absolute gut-wrenching dread. It wasn’t that I didn’t want to be a father, I had just never imagined I could be, not in this world at least. And who was I to bring a child into a world that couldn’t sustain her? I thought it to be cruel, but Kat assured me that life always finds a way.
Thank You, Rory Newbrough
It started with just one plant. A tiny Aloe Hawthoria called to me from the garden racks at the Home Depot. Honestly, it was kind of a joke a first. Love Is Blind had just aired on Netflix and an emotionally intelligent brunette by the name of Rory Newbrough gave great advice to hopeful men in the pods…yet we never got to see him find love? It felt fishy, but I have trust issues which is why I could never be on a show like that. Still, I was convinced he was a house plant. Placed in the pod to help the stereotypical slightly more reserved gender open up. I needed to open up too, I needed a Rory Newbrough in my life; So, I put the aloe Hawthoria into my cart and called him by the name of my new favorite reality TV star.
The Boy In Room 103
On special occasion’s Evalyn Baxter, who had returned to using her maiden name after the ink dried on her divorce papers, would make the effort to go above and beyond for her son Dallas. Dallas meant the world to her, and she didn’t get to spend as much time with him as she’d like – really these special occasions were all she had left.
The Dare: 1958
We were children skipping rocks on a lazy pond. I carefully chose my rocks, smooth and flat, from the shoreline as the younger boys Ricky and Dennis lobbed any stone that they could hold in their 6-year-old palms into the water. Thomas, who was taller but not much older than me put all his weight into rolling a small boulder from the land onto a sinking dock. Water spilled onto the planks as the oversized rock submerged the dock further under the surface.
The Reading-est Girl
I couldn’t read. I was the dumb kid, I was slow. It’s okay though because I’d always been good at pretending and nobody else knew. All the other 1st graders could read real good, and when we had buddy readers with the 4th graders I’d have to battle the other children to get to the big-kid who would read to me rather than have me fumble to make sense of the pictures and letters for myself. The system worked for a while, but all good things must come to an end.
Just Jokes Though
I stand on the stage and I tell jokes. Just jokes about my father's addictions, my inability to maintain a healthy adult relationship, that I fall too easily in- into another person's bed. The audience laughs. At a table in the back, a man with a degree thinks those things might be related, but he laughs too because they’re just jokes. I’m sure he’ll explain it to me later.