Josh Napper

Josh Napper

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  • Josh Napper
    Published 2 years ago
    There's One Person That Made Me

    There's One Person That Made Me

    There’s one certain person that makes me who I am. The same person not only makes me want to be better than I was a second earlier, but also wants to make the world more beautiful than a blink ago. She’s the one closet to my heart and I know I'm in her heart. I might want to be the one that she gives her heart to completely, but lord knows I’ll never deserve the grandest prize in this word because I’ll never deserve it. Hell, sometimes I wonder if I even deserve calling her a friend. We only get one chance at this thing we call life. Sadly, her past hasn’t been so sunny because of people's actions, but ever since I've been around the angel, I’ve tried my best to make sure her skies were only sunny and helped her reach for the skies. And til the day that I'm no longer on this planet lord knows that I’ll be the protector of her world. Even when I make it, I’ll pass up the award shows just to watch them on the tv as we order in some pizza and show down on some drinks and candy. Oh by the way when she wins her awards I’ll be the one I promise you this, when she walks on the stage for her awards I’ll be the one clapping the loudest. She's beautiful 360 degrees. Damn winner of miss universe right there and whatever talent show she goes on as well. I look into her eyes and can’t help but to stare into perfection, yet I see the pain and tears she tries to hide from my own eyes. I try my best to get her to open up and to find a way to vanish those demons. Her past makes it hard, however her protector is stronger. I may look like I'm just like everyone else but trust me when you cross her, I’ll become your worst nightmare and her savior. I'm gonna ask her how do I cheer you up, even though she always says the next time I ask she’s gonna punch me in my throat, and she's gonna say nothing or it’s impossible. Deep down she's knows I'm gonna prove that the word impossible is just simply saying I'm possible. And that by the time I tell her good night sleep tight have a good day she’s gonna smile at least once or twice. I ain't gonna show those wanna be’s and fakers any mercy for hurting my number one in the whole wide world. By the way since I mentioned it a second ago, I tell her good night sleep tight have a good day, every night. It doesn’t matter if I call her, like that night I was out of town and my internet went down, if I call text her phone, like that night I was out of phone minutes, if I Facebook her like I do on the nights I don’t get the honor and privilege of looking into her stunning eyes, or if I tell her face to beautiful face that simple phrase, which is simply perfection… just like her. God, I must have done that since June. I do it for simple reasons. I tell her good night hoping that no matter how bad of a day she had since I told her that she’ll have a good night. I tell her sweet dreams hoping that her dreams will be as sweet as her and the nightmare she faces throughout the sun time don’t creep around in the dark. I tell her have a good day, simply hoping that tomorrow will be good if not great or perfect for her. There’s one certain person that makes me who I am. She’s the girl I love.
  • Josh Napper
    Published 2 years ago
    What She Thinks

    What She Thinks

    I know I'm a man, but I wanted to post this because I'm the type of guy that’s always there for my boys and my girls. I might not always know the pain they been through, and I don’t need to know. I might not always understand at first or get it all understood by the end, but they know I'm going to try harder than their past. We all need one or two people that we can go to whenever we are down in the gutter for one reason or another, so I'm gonna be one of those people in my people’s life. So, this is dedicated to all my girls from Ms. Peter Pan to a great person/friend, even the best little sister who I know our paths will cross one day. I look into their eyes and try to break down their walls to their heart while causing the least amount of hurt and maximum smiles. And sadly, these are just some of the random thoughts that I know they sometimes have. To my girls, I know you don’t want to open up to another person because of your past, but I’ll be ready if you ever do. To the others that stumble upon this, go find one or two that you feel safe enough to express yourself to, feel free to send a message my way if you wanna.
  • Josh Napper
    Published 2 years ago
    Dear A Great Person/Friend

    Dear A Great Person/Friend

    Every single imperfection you have makes me fall for you even more than the last. One universe, eight planets, seven continents, over a hundred countries, 50 states, over seven billion people, and I'm lucky enough to meet you. Thank you for being there for me when I need a shoulder to cry on, for making me laugh when I'm blue and for giving me the opportunity to do the same for you. The sparkle in your eyes put the stars to shame. I don't care if it's not going anywhere... I really like wasting my time on you. I like you and you know it. I'm happy we are friends but knowing we won’t be more is feeling like someone is stabbing me in the stomach. It is hard not to stare and fall into those AMAZING eyes of yours. With what seems like almost no effort at all, you prove yourself to be more and more incredibly amazing every day and every day. I'm not scared of heights; I'm scared of falling. I'm not scared of swimming; I'm scared of drowning. I'm not afraid of love; I'm afraid of losing you. Wishing I had the nerve to tell you how I really feel but this will have to do for now. Besides, it’s pointless to actually say out loud. You smile at me, and I smile back hoping that one day that smile will mean more than friendship. Dear heart, I know that last one hurt, but this one is perfect... I’m trying so hard to fight these feelings, but I’m losing this battle. because there's just something about you that I can't stay away from. I’m so scared that I'm gonna get hurt like I always do, but I can't help the way I feel when you look at me, when you smile at me, when I'm with you. I'll be your sunshine after the rain, your rainbow after the storm. Your candle in the darkness, and your fire to keep you warm. I don't care where we are. It’s perfect when I'm with you. You are sweet, kind, loving, and amazing! I would do anything to make sure you never had to deal with any evil of any kind. To whichever guy becomes the luckiest guy in the world, protect her, fight for her, kiss her, love her, laugh with her... But don't you dare make her fall if you don't plan to catch her. I like you and you know it. I'm happy we are friends but knowing we won’t be more is feeling like someone is stabbing me in the stomach. The few hours I spend with you are worth all the hours I spend without you. Damn, how come the things you want the most are so far out of reach? I want you, the good, the bad, and the in-between... all of you. I don't want a miracle, I don't want a fairy-tale, I don't want a perfect life. I want you. If you need me, I'll be sitting here kicking it in the "friend zone." If a star fell every time I thought about you... we all know the sky would be empty. I miss you, until the next time I get to see you. Ever since you stepped into my life you've filled it with love, warmth, and lots of precious moments. you are the best thing that has ever happened to me. I'm always stuck between I really want to talk to you and I don't want to annoy you. Her eyes are impossible not to stare into. Her hair is flawless. Her makeup is useless 'cause she doesn’t need it. Her body might be stunning itself but that ain't what gets to me. But she gets to the core of my heart and soul with just a glance from her or a thought going through my mind. And don’t get me started with how hard her heart is, 'cause I've seen her overcome unimaginable pain. Her pain might have made her raise those walls to her heart higher than humanly possible and I understand why she felt like she needed to raise them little by little. However, I’ll do everything I can to not only find a way to break my wall through those walls, but to make sure she doesn’t need any more walls. A.k.a., I'm gonna do everything I can to prove I ain't like her exes, nor am I like those fakes that just wanted to take advantage of perfection. Now, let me break this down here, I might have fallen head over heels for her as soon as I asked her what her name was, and she smiled, laughed and put her hand over her mouth, and I might already simply act like I'm the one she calls her boyfriend and I wonder if one or two of her blood line think he might be able to pull off the impossible and show her what she really is. Yet I know I’ll never have her in my arms, and I knew that before people started pointing it out. You see, I don’t have the billions or the way to put her up in the top of the world, and I can’t give her what she wants nor needs. No matter what I become or get in life, I will never, ever deserve her. And let’s be honest, no guy will ever deserve her. And, ladies and gentlemen, don’t get me wrong, those wannabe’s and little boys REALLY do not even deserve a second of her time or thought. If I ever did somehow pull off a miracle of a miracle, then I would make sure one day I’ll ask her to marry me, but I wouldn’t ask her to make me the happiest man in the world 'cause I’ll already be it with her by my side. Even if the miracle of a miracle never comes, I'm gonna make sure she knows how special, smart, and beautiful she is. A.k.a., how much of a great person/friend she truly is.
  • Josh Napper
    Published 2 years ago
    Anything for Her

    Anything for Her

    This goes out for the girl that I like with all my heart, yet I know she will never be hers. But that isn’t what is important to me. Her happiness is all I care about, it doesn’t matter if I'm the main reason for that smile on her face or if I'm not even in the top 100 reasons for the best smile in the world being on the most beautiful face. Some will always think I do what I do cause my feelings for her and wanna give me shit, yet I’ll simply say I'm just being the best friend I can be to her. Cause that’s what she needs from me. She already gets those kisses and hugs from her number one. So, I’ll do what she needs me to do. I’ll walk across the street during lunch time and then sneak back into school. I’ll sneak inside her house with a goodie bag as her mommy and daddy are sleeping in the living room. I’ll ask her how do I cheer you up, even though she keeps saying if I ask her that one more time I'm getting punched in my throat. To be honest I’ll probably lay down my body to save her from the evilness of life.
  • Josh Napper
    Published 2 years ago
    You're Never Alone

    You're Never Alone

    Guy: You never know how someone is feeling. You never know if they're close to breaking... You just never know.
  • Josh Napper
    Published 2 years ago
    Kassie

    Kassie

    I know I was a bitch to you. The second I sent those texts, I knew I lost a friend. I know, you know, hell the other people close to what happens knows I told you “sorry” half a million times (if not more). I mean we both know “sorry” is just a word and we all know actions speak louder than words. The problem with that is I can’t do anything. Hell, the texts weren't even coming from me, I mean I hit enter, but my highness came up with the words. If I was using my words you would have read things like you are not pretty, you're beautiful, or maybe if you need anything don’t hesitate to give me a buzz. Friends are there for you on your good days and the real friends are there for the bad days. As I look back on sophomore year, where we first met, I wasn’t the best friend. I mean, we both know the drama between me and him didn’t make you happy. As I look back on junior year, the year I sent those texts that changed everything, I used up all my sorry’s. Now in senior year, I'm still trying to find a way to make it up to you. Heck, let’s be honest, in a month or two my name will be a distant memory in your mind. you won’t remember what I gave you every Friday. You won’t remember the chocolate doughnuts—with sprinkles and a plain bottom. You won’t remember all the Reeses' candy I bought for you. You won’t remember those blueberry dum dums, that I dug thru the trash (kinda). You won’t remember that pizza I got during lunch and gave you a piece. You won’t remember the birthday card I hid in the bag because I was too scared to give it to you like a man. At the end of the day, it doesn’t matter because I remember. Call it what you want, but I might remember it forever. I know I shouldn’t remember it, but I do. To be honest, I don’t think I started being nice to Stacy, Sabrina and Garret because of the "I'm nice to people" motto. However, as time passed I did continue because of that motto. Back to the sorry topic, I knew no matter how many sorry’s I said you would never forgive me. Now, I might not know if you like sunrises or sunsets better, or if you’re a country or city girl, but I do know a few things. For example: you think those pink-frosted cookies are the best, your favorite sucker is blueberry, you don’t like chocolate bottoms, your birthday on the 24th of January. Might get a bit to personal but your life isn’t going to be perfect, where the fun in that. Sadly, you will experience sadness, disappointment, miserable, lonely and defeated but you are always going to have people looking out for you. People might not completely understand your situation but give them a chance. To be perfectly honest I don’t know why I'm even writing this to you. I mean you probably stopped reading by now, that is if you even started reading this. By the way, don’t call this a love letter, because it really isn’t. really. You probably will, even though it isn’t. occasionally, I still buy you a doughnut even though you hate me. Maybe its just me being nice. Maybe I think it will make you give me one more shot at being your friend—even though I don’t deserve another shot. Maybe a higher power just for some reason wants me to do so. Who knows why. People say that every decision you make stays with you for the rest of your life, if so then I will have to be forced to live with the choice to hit enter that night. If I could rewrite that scene, I could, however, I can’t. I can’t undo my mistake that ended our friendship. If only I could. You know I mean that. If I wasn’t, would I have said sorry so many times? When I ruined our friendship, I did more than that. I mean look at mine and Stacy’s and mine and Garret's. I think they would agree with me when I say our friendship ain't the same anymore. To be honest I don’t know how to fix things, but I’ll start with saying the word I have been saying, sorry. Words can’t start to describe how mad I am for hitting enter. If I could undo it I would it in a blink of an eye. Did I make a mistake? Yes. Did I man up about it? Yes. Did I say sorry half a million times? Yes. However, if you let a one bad decision ruin everything. Then there’s nothing I can say or do. I'm not saying everyone deserves a chance to clean up their mistakes, but I want one. I promise if you give me one more chance I won’t let you down. Words can’t describe how much of a fool I was. I don’t know why I couldn’t just tell you the truth face to face. Maybe because how I compared to him. I just don’t compare to him. I could just end the letter here but since I know you stopped reading, I might as well tell you the truth. I liked you because your personality. I knew you and I would never have happened...