Thank you for making me smile every day and loving me along the way. Thank you for being a true and trusted friend. Most of all just thank you for you. Some people come into our life for a moment, some people stay for a lifetime, either way a footprint on my heart was left...thank you for the mark you left on me. I wish I could tell someone how thankful I am for them because they helped me smile through the tears when I was falling apart. Thank you. I know that no matter how much money I get in this lifetime, no matter how famous I get, no matter what happens in my life I will never be truly able to pay you back for a tenth of what you’ve done for me yet alone to show you what you mean to me whether that’s in words or in actions. So, I guess for now, until I find a better way to show you what you mean to me, this is a reminder of one thing I want you to always remember. Just be yourself. You simply being you for the last few years have turned me into the person I am today.
1. So, I know this whole thing just started, but since you already said what ya said, I'll say this: sure we only started this journey just recently, but maybe, if the big man upstairs permits, one day in the future, we will lose the like word and use the love word. Just like there's a lot of instruments in music, there are a lot of girls. However, just like you only need a saxophone for jazz, the only girl I have on my mind right now is the one that I was messaging for the last three hours. However, it felt like a lot longer then that, but lord knows I wasn't looking at the clock tick and tick cuz I was just waiting to see those dots show up and see that dark red one next to your name, and having my face grow a smile. They might say we just kids, but it's our relationship, so if they wanna hate, then one: they just jealous, and more importantly, they really don't matter. Cuz if they ain't you, who are they to talk about our relationship? They can just beat it. I don't care how much money I got if I got the one that makes me smile the most. That's what makes my motion happen. Let's just hope that your mommy and daddy, and older sister, for that matter, like me just like you do, cuz that would just make you smile even more. And I know this sucked, mostly since it's the first time having to use certain words, but I didn't hope this would be the best ever, I'm just hoping that it makes you smile and makes you feel a little bit better.
I'm sorry... you know who you are. Leroy Jethro Gibbs from NCIS once said: "Never say you're sorry. It's a sign of weakness." But girl, the team leader of one of your favorite shows is wrong. I know sorry means nothing to you anymore thanks to your past. I know I said that I am different from all those wannabes from your past who had lost way too many brain cells and hurt you. I know I said that I’ll always be there for those times you need me. I know I said, I know what I said. But here I stand, wanting to cry because I have once again let you, the most important person to me in the whole wide universe, down. I may be sad, I may be depressed, I may have made a mistake, but just to let you know, I still care about you. Saying I am sorry is an acknowledgement that you were hurt, not that I intentionally tried to hurt you. I do regret the pain you feel. There isn't a day that goes by that I don't wish I could take it all back. I never wanted to hurt you! I'm truly sorry.
Every day and every night, I tell her that I am not like the past guys that have hurt her. Hell, I tell her I am the real deal, a real man, because that is exactly what a girl as beautiful, special, and smart as her deserves and needs. Please do not think all I do is say I am trying and I will find a way. As soon as my ass wakes up, I get my two light blankets off my chest and I get up off the floor and I get to work. My life has been nowhere near easy. I fight for food and water each day. I wake up tired, I go to bed even more tired. When needed, I break all the rules stopping me from completing my hopes and dreams.
I’ll always be that little girl you held in your arms when I couldn’t even open my eyes. I’ll always be that girl that came crying to you after my first breakup and you cocked your shotgun. Your time has already come, and I don't know why the last time we saw you, you were doing just fine. It seems like just yesterday we were laughing with you. When I look up to the stars, I remember how special you are and how much I miss you.