Johnny Vedmore

Our country is weak. Our citizens are disillusioned, and susceptible to promises, which can never be achieved. Our previous generations had warned us constantly that we should never let this happen again. The many angry people of these British Isles, who feel voiceless and persecuted, are crying out for an authoritarian figure, who can unite them under another crooked and murderous ideology. We are on a path to civil war and death camps, and if you think I am exaggerating then you are incredibly naive.

Happy Brexit everybody! So this what the future looks like. I was promised pink hoverboards and killer cyborgs but instead we’ll be arguing about Brexit as our crazy little island sinks into the rising tides.

The idea of left and right in politics is always divisively subjective and relative to your own presupposed position on that spectrum. If you were to say that your natural political position is occupying the centre right, then you could refer to anyone on the right of you as far right and anyone on the political left as on the left of you, irrelevant of whether or not those people are on the centre left or far left. So, if you consider yourself as on the far right, then even the people on the hard right will often be termed as leftist. I saw this while I was investigating the Traditional Britain Group, a right wing conservative pressure group who often referred to centre right politicians as on the left of politics.

If I were to describe to you all the feelings that I experience when I watch the UK Conservative party lie to parliament, I would say it is like a burning volcanic eruption inside my rib cage, moving upwards towards my epiglottis. Then, when the Tories are prevented from being called dishonest by the out of touch parliamentary rules, my head explodes and I scream uncontrollably for the return of the guillotine.

I first took Welsh magic mushrooms when I was 20 years old. It was the year 2000 and I was woken up in my first floor flat by the sound of a Mark Three Ford Escort doors slamming shut. I only had to glance out the window to see some friends with bags of freshly picked Welsh magic mushrooms. My world was about to be turned upside down. People were going to take their trips at different times, and I should have waited for the later mushroom tea. But I was eager to try, so I was told that it was a good thing that I hadn’t eaten anything for breakfast, it’s always considered to be better to take mushrooms on an empty stomach. My empty stomach was soon to be introduced to more than what Terence McKenna would refer to as a heroic dose of magic mushrooms. Instead of drinking 15 grams of fresh mushrooms with some fruit juice, and having a nice introduction to the world of psychedelics, we stewed hundreds of mushrooms into a thick jelly (mixed with soil and grass) and served it in half pint measures. Half-a-pint of this magical jelly juice was well over the five grams of dried mushrooms—75 grams of fresh mushrooms—that is considered to be a heroic dose. I was told to down all the gloopy mixture as quickly as possible as to avoid the bad taste. It was to be a brutal experience; one which I’ll never forget.

The members of the Intellectual Dark Web have declared the start of a new era of utilising modern technological communication for the exchange of advanced cultural ideas. If you are unaware of this group of intelligentsia who are currently brainstorming seminars, lectures, debates, and YouTube channels everywhere then you should put your thinking cap on and get involved.