JoJoBonetto
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Stories (26/0)
Edensgate
I was punished today because I refused to make my bed when I was ordered to. After lessons, I was sent to The Birches with no dinner for “quiet time” where I was to reflect on my behaviour and read passages from the teachings. It was cold in The Birches. There was one long, narrow, dank, damp room, with rows upon rows of single, metal framed beds, all covered in rough, heavy grey blankets. Along one end, there were three desks. The windows were painted black, with imposing vertical iron bars fixed across them, leaving us in no doubt that the outside world was not available to us. This was where the disobedient were sent.
By JoJoBonetto3 years ago in Families
Bonfire of the Indignities
I was never the sort of person with a limited imagination, a narrow mind or what I would describe as a faint heart. This was why earning a living in my new life on the periphery of the avatar sex industry was of little consequence to me. In many ways, it was a non-event. When it was my avatar it was a digital manifestation of my body and it was driven by my mind, with my voice as its narrator, but it was not me. It was a persona. When I stepped out from behind my avatar, in front of my webcam and engaged eyeball to eyeball with the man wanting to become intimate with me, albeit remotely, it was more intrusive. There is a personal cost to selling yourself to an audience that does not recognise your humanity, but it’s about knowing yourself, your needs and where you draw that line. There were nice men and there were nasty men, but they did not make me do anything more than I was willing to do. I drew the line at what I considered to be “negative self-talk”. I would not tell the man what a slut and whore I was, and refused to entertain men who expected me to listen to them describe me in that way. I never did anything hardcore and I never inserted anything, anywhere. Most of the time I was paid to communicate with the men, as well as get them off by showing them my body.
By JoJoBonetto3 years ago in Filthy
What is the meaning of ascetic ideals?
In this essay, the meaning of ascetic ideals becomes far clearer through the use of Nietzsche’s account on the subject in his third essay in On The Genealogy of Morals, this is not surprising due to Nietzsche being influenced by Schopenhauer before moving on to develop his own views. A similar thing happened with Socrates who Nietzsche was very critical of and, after attacking his ideas fiercely moved on in much the same fashion as he did with Schopenhauer to formulate his own. I will, however, not neglect Schopenhauer and Socrates in this essay, I will look at them in more detail in the later stages as I will Kierkegaard and Weil, though not in quite so much detail.
By JoJoBonetto3 years ago in Psyche
Before the Fall
Hari had been three hours late for our first date. There had been no apology. There had been no hello, either. There was only a phone call that began “… before you start ranting at me, let me explain…” He instructed me to travel to Russell Square after making me wait so long, which I grudgingly did. When I got to the station, my phone rang. It was him. He was standing on the other side of the road, but I did not immediately see him. I saw two old men. He said the two old men were Indian, like him, and that he was the other Indian guy, implying I was race blind. The two old men were both white. He had a hang up about race that I never fully understood. When we first began talking after meeting online, he had said he wanted to talk to me on the telephone but said he hoped I didn’t mind his thick Indian accent. I said, “of course not”, while feeling very confused. If he was born in London, why would he have a thick Indian accent? When he did eventually telephone me, there was no Indian accent at all. I never mentioned it, and neither did he.
By JoJoBonetto3 years ago in Confessions
Daisy Chain
It was 2010. Before I had made the decision to disappear, I had prepared. I understood that every movement I had made over the past few years had been tracked, logged, and preserved because of the technological world I lived in now. I had gradually reduced my digital footprint under my old identity and increased my privacy online. I had gone to lengths to acquire a completely anonymous, secure, mobile smartphone using cash. Likewise, for my laptop computer. I had been squirreling cash away for some time now. I had cut the fat from my social life, so my absence would be less conspicuous. I had set up an anonymous mail drop under a fake identity, my new identity, and had been having mail delivered there, including my fake identity documents.
By JoJoBonetto3 years ago in Humans
Narcissists I have known
I had never been particularly worldly or self-assured, and if the truth be told, I had always suspected I would make a terrible wife. Sleeping Beauty had slept for one hundred years. I think that is how the story goes. Only to be awakened by a kiss from a handsome Prince. I was not labouring under the illusion that there was a Mr Right waiting for me to catch his eye across a crowded room. Romance bored me. I made terrible romantic decisions, that always ended up badly. This song was every relationship I had up until the age of 35.
By JoJoBonetto3 years ago in Beat
The Soken
There are so many things we know instinctively. No life lesson is necessary. No one had ever needed to tell me that humans are cruel to their own kind. No one had needed to teach me how to accept a punch in the playground, when I was outnumbered. I was five years old when my teacher told me I was dying, in front of everyone. Children do not know instinctively they might die, because they have not yet begun to live. I was eleven years old when the doctor at the hospital told me I was not dying anymore. There were a lot of people in that room, most of them student doctors. The style of delivery was self-congratulatory, and somehow crass. I did not know how I was supposed to react. I just blinked. My parents seemed equally perplexed. There was no explanation as to what my mysterious medical condition had been. No one claimed to have cured anything. Possibly because no one had claimed to have found anything wrong with me. I was going to live, and that was that.
By JoJoBonetto3 years ago in Humans
1 in 4 people in the UK will experience a mental health issue each year
It is said that the Greeks have four different words to describe love. Germans can select from fifteen words to describe anger[1]. Humans are complex beings, created with multiple diverse elements. A problem or difficulty in one element of the self has the potential to have a negative impact on all elements of our being, be it physical, mental, relational or spiritual[2].
By JoJoBonetto3 years ago in Psyche
A Cam Girl’s Perspective on Cam (Netflix)
I did my time as a Cam Girl to pay the bills. Both full time and part time. That is why when the Netflix film Cam came up in my feed and there was Cam Girl chatter in the WhatsApp group I am still a member of, I decided to brace myself and take a look.
By JoJoBonetto3 years ago in Filthy
Book Review: Brown, Brene — Rising Strong as a Spiritual Practice
Rising Strong, is a book about overcoming adversity, but it is much more than that. Brown has an accessible writing style that explains her own detailed research in a way that helps people to make sense of difficult emotions. Brown’s writing style is relaxed, informal, honest and at times, humorous. It is down to earth, with an anecdotal approach but references other peoples work as well as her own studies, in a clever and different way. Priests, screenwriters, and scholars are given equal billing, among others.
By JoJoBonetto3 years ago in Psyche
Book Review: Sane New World: Taming the Mind, Ruby Wax
I remember Ruby Wax from her TV interviews in the 1990s with various celebrities. The Madonna interview was like watching a ship go down. The one with Pamela Anderson doing pelvic floor exercises in her Baywatch swimsuit was not much better. Ruby Wax is a bit like Marmite, you either love her or hate her. I find her funny, but she has a habit of what I would call “over acting” and this book is not really that different in style.
By JoJoBonetto3 years ago in Psyche
Thinking about mental health.
According to the National Institute for Health and Care Excellence (NICE) common mental health problems include depression and anxiety disorders such as generalised anxiety disorder, panic disorder, obsessive-compulsive disorder (called OCD for short) and post-traumatic stress disorder (called PTSD for short). Other common mental health problems include phobias about a specific thing (such as spiders) or situations (such as being embarrassed in front of other people). These mental health problems are called ‘common’ because combined they affect more people than other mental health problems (up to 15% of people at any one time in the UK). Some people may have more than one mental health problem (such as depression and anxiety).
By JoJoBonetto3 years ago in Psyche