Jazz Carper
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Stories (42/0)
to the sister, I never knew
Dear sister, I wanted to start this letter with, I’m sorry. I was always so upset that our mom left me and chose you. I know now that I was the one who had a better life because of it. Our mom did drugs, and if it wasn’t more my dad I would have maybe fallen into the same fate. I know that you were shuttled around to other homes. Oftentimes with family, but other times with people you didn’t know well. I can’t imagine the life you lived having to live with her again, finding her oftentimes with a needle in her arm. Sister, I am so sorry that I always was jealous of you. I was jealous our mother was in your life and not mine. I was jealous our mother never remembered my birthday, or even who I was at times. I always thought you got the mom I imagined I wanted. I know now that you didn’t have a mother either. In fact, you got the worst part of our mother. A mother who judged you, and also abandoned you more times than you can count.
By Jazz Carperabout a year ago in Families
Fewer toys, more play
When I was little I almost always had everything I wanted. My father was raising two little girls as a single man. He worked hard and sometimes would go without for himself to make sure my sister and I had everything we needed. There were times money was tight and he wouldn’t eat to make sure we ate. I remember little of these earlier years of my life. I only know that my dad worked extremely hard and eventually he was able to escape that fate. We eventually would end up with more than we needed and my dad didn’t have to struggle to provide for us anymore.
By Jazz Carperabout a year ago in Families
The One she didn't see coming
I had swiped right on this guy, and I couldn’t for the life of me remember why. I stared at this egotistical face that hadn’t noticed I hadn’t said a word in around thirty minutes. He was holding his old fashioned, which should have been my first clue, and finally looked at me.
By Jazz Carperabout a year ago in Humans
To allow screen time or not
There is a lot of debate over the topic of screen time for the younger generation. This includes toddlers and children alike. I use to be the parent that would say, “when I have a kid I am never letting them use a phone or screen.” How pretentious and naive of me! The number of things I didn’t know I didn’t know could fill a book. Screen time has allowed me some sort of semblance of normalcy in this crazy time and now I going to explain why you shouldn’t feel guilty letting your children have some screen time.
By Jazz Carperabout a year ago in Families
Hedonistic Tendencies
Many people think that because I am a minimalist that I don’t buy anything. By this logic, I must use photosynthesis to make food and water because humans need food to eat, and I’m not hunter-gather. That being said, I do spend quite a bit of my money on food and related items. However, besides necessities, I have a different system besides just “add to cart” before I buy something. Just because I am a minimalist doesn’t mean I don’t enjoy buying things conscientiously. My system includes never using the buy now button and creating lists of the things I want. This list is then reviewed to see if those things I thought I wanted, are still what I want. I do this weekly. Then depending on how much the item is, I will take this system further. This helps me avoid unnecessary spending as well as collecting random items I don’t need. Would you believe I don’t even have amazon prime anymore? Crazy in this day and age, I know. However there have been a few items on my list lately, so I felt that they were a splurge-worthy of sharing with you.
By Jazz Carperabout a year ago in FYI
bury me with my to-do list
My self-worth use to be tied to everything I did, I was a student, I was working two jobs. I was saving money. I was doing so many things, yet I never had time for the things that I would always dream about. “When I retire…” I would think, yet I was 21 and retirement was many years off. I had a plan and I was going to stick to it, and gosh darn it, I would be successful. This amount of busy caused me to lose relationships that mattered, to prioritize others that really shouldn’t have mattered. I was losing everything I was taught to be, and instead of building myself into an ideal that I had no desire of actually being. As if to be successful in life I had to make sure I was everything the media portrays. I was rushing straight towards a life I wasn’t going to be able to escape. I was lost and without a way out, and it took its toll on me and my health.
By Jazz Carperabout a year ago in Motivation
How to Budget
I have been an adult for quite a few years now, and every time I call my dad he always asks me the same thing, “have you made a budget yet?” I would always say, “I’m aware of my spending and I don’t actually spend that much.” Let me tell you something, I had no idea how much I was really spending, and I was spending way too much. I was really enjoying my life though until I came face to face with the consequences of my actions. It was sobering and somewhat humiliating. How could I have been so out of touch? Well, guess what buttercup? The first step is admitting it, however, I will never tell my dad that. I then sat down and decided to do the deed. The very thing I rebelled against for years. Let’s walk through the steps, and help you do what I did and hopefully avoid disgrace.
By Jazz Carperabout a year ago in Lifehack
Cucumber Water
I’m having my quarter-life crisis. I know what you’re thinking, that seems a little young, however, this is the oldest I’ve been and it was time to have a crisis. I am in the midst of wondering if I will ever write anything memorable, how I can continue my career as a bedside nurse and hopefully go back to school and be an educator if I will have more kids if I will get married, how I will afford a house if I don’t stop eating avocado toast...and so on. As you can tell, there’s a bit on my mind. Oh, and by the way, I’m actually in Gen Z not a millennial, so I’m just completely at a loss of who I am. All the things I want to be. As I was eating chocolate dipped in Trader Joe’s version of Nutella on the couch watching Grey’s Anatomy for the tenth time, I knew a change would be necessary.
By Jazz Carperabout a year ago in Humans
Is This Anything?
The extent to which I have experienced any racism directed to me is when people look at my hair and say, “You have black people’s hair.” For some reason, it annoys me that people feel the need to quantify anything that way. As if we are only what people can see, not that we are simply other souls just trying to enjoy our lives. My hair is two parts frizz and one part curl, however, it’s very textured and therefore it would be safe to assume that I may have a relation to someone in my ancestry that is black. I want to make it very clear, it doesn’t bother me that people might think I have some ancestry that is black. I am disappointed that people feel the need to point that out to me, and then touch my hair without asking. Or try and put pencils or pens in it without me noticing, or the million other reactions and comments I get just because my hair is a very defining characteristic. Instead, keep your hands to yourself and maybe mind your business. This is the only extent to which I can claim any type of understanding of racism and how it affects people. Enter, Chappelle’s Show.
By Jazz Carperabout a year ago in Geeks
Seven degrees
This year has been rough, and honestly, that’s an understatement. However, one thing I should have invested in at the beginning of this pandemic is streaming services, and they are blowing up. Especially because we are all stuck indoors and need some sense of normalcy and that is where we turn to the television and the lighthearted shows that might make us lose the sadness our lives have become. I don’t know about you, but this actually doesn’t sound like a punishment to me. I get to stay home and watch as many movies as I want? Yes, please. In fact, do ya’ll remember when Netflix tweeted and said, “to the 42 people who have watched ‘A Christmas Prince’ 42 times since Thanksgiving, who hurt you?” I was one of those people. Movies and shows are my life. My personality is a cacophony of literature characters and characters from shows I really enjoy.
By Jazz Carperabout a year ago in Geeks
