Her eyes saw but did not see. When I looked over to her, bizarre thoughts reared up in my mind. "Does not compute. Does not compute." Over and over again I heard what might have been her voice forever ago, but it was lost in static. Light and alive, entreating but stuck there. Stuck in that place so long ago.
Here we go. End of another long day. Here we go. Yup. The bickering. Oh, hold on. Yup, there is the thrown glass and... hold on. Queue the screams... Blast off. Here we go. It's a real shit show now. How we came so far in the first place is... I was going to say a miracle, ha ha ha. Oh, I do amuse myself. Someone has to, I guess. Oh yes, that's right, we were fighting. I haven't stuck my tongue out at her in a while. Not since we were kids, I don't think. Maybe I'll try that. She'll get a kick out of that. Maybe then she'll laugh. Gosh... When was the last time she laughed? Oh, the thought of it hurts a little. I had to be partly to blame. I mean... yeah, I was partly to blame. But it was all consensual, always. I wouldn't hurt her like that, not ever. But she's still hurting. Hurting me. Gosh, what did I do?
There was a noise, deep down in my chest. There was that perennial thud. My heart? Nay. Something a little less here. Something a little more there. Yes. Something all together old. Thud. That thing that made God. Yes. There it is. The thud. The thing that makes the heart go off on those strange tangents. Just thinking about it makes my knees want to bend. Bend to something above this earthly trapping. Down here, the yelling is deafening. The bustle suffocates. Down here, we all go down. Down. Down. Down. It's all going down again. Thud. I'm afraid. Thud. Oh god, it's coming to get me. It's coming out. Bang. It grabs the neck first and scratches at the back of the throat until the eyes are raw and the hair on the head goes mad and it makes the breath unbearably hot and loud.
We did nothing to deserve the pain of her death.