I try and try.
I enjoy stories and attempting to tell them.
I’m a rich father before I am a poor artist.
“If you have to tell someone you hate them…tell me.”
My "authentic self" is a man I reconnected with on the path, cut by life, through my divorce. 10 years of simping hid him in the back rooms of my mind, but I caught a glimpse of him just as a version of me was being gutted in a river, by the sharp words of my wife. “You are nothing, nothing but a disappointment and a loser.”…and then some. I didn’t know how to let him lead the show but this deadly baptism got him to come to the front.
My grip’s slipping on the metal bar I’m holding onto. The bar stretches beyond the horizon, imposibly far. I look down at a deep hole hundreds of miles below me, the edges of the hole move in and down like it’s consuming everything outside it. A black hole…my stomach falls out from below me. My legs are filling with lead. In my panic I open my mouth and bite down on the bar…the sound of my teeth cracking and the taste of rust…
Bail Me In
Hello new friend! Welcome to my cobweb. My name is Straighty Hay Man. I am a piece of alfalfa that was turned into hay over 40 years ago, then named by an angel and saved by a gust of wind. I still can't believe I have a name...most hay is simply clumped together for animal feed. Lux is my angel, and it is she who taught me, "I am more than just a cut, dried, and yellowed piece of alfalfa.” She was wide eyed, full of laughter and she always left life in her wake. Her hands plucked me out from a bale, held me tight, then eventually placed me here, in this old barn to be given purpose. That was over 40 years ago now. I’d love to tell you a few stories about Lux and life in this old barn if you’d listen.