On 06/14/2016, my cousin committed suicide, and there were a lot of unanswered questions. After that, I decided that I didn't want to leave anything unanswered, so this page is a place for me to write anything and everything on my mind.
It’ll Never Happen to Me
”It’ll never happen to me.” That’s why I used to tell myself. Until it did. It happened. Suicide happened. To the last person I would have ever expected. That day will be engrained in my memory, and my famiily’s memories, forever. I was driving to CVS, in between petsitting and babysitting jobs. I know what families I was working for that day, I even know what I was going to CVS to buy. Everything after that for the next 12 hours is a blur. I know I went home, I know there was a lot of crying, and I know I was making calls and packing quickly so I could get to Maine. But I was numb. I was trying not to feel anything but feeling everything at the same time. I was heartbroken and in denial and angry. I just wasn’t able to process anything. Because I always told myself “it won’t happen to me.” But it did, and I had to face it head on.
A couple years ago, I started working at a dog rescue. I still lived with my parents, so the most I ever did was bring dogs home to foster, I knew they wouldn’t be sticking around too long. My mom had set a very strict ‘no more animals in the house’ policy. Don’t get me wrong, there were plenty of dogs I wanted to bring home for good. I’m a vet tech and animal lover through and through, I would save all of them if I could. But I was doing my best to abide by my mom’s rule, so the fosters typically only stayed overnight and were adopted the next day. Until Chance got off the truck.
Be kind to your veterinary staff
Tonight, I’m working one of my two swing/overnight shifts a week. I’m doing what I love. I’m a veterinary technician at an emergency hospital, and helping animals is my passion in life. This job is one of the most fulfilling jobs I can do, and I fully intend to continue taking care of animals in some aspect for the rest of my life.
Good deeds can be found anywhere
Working in the vet field, and in an ER clinic at that, I see a lot of really expensive cases. Animal care in general is expensive, and when emergencies strike, it can be fatal. We see people all the time who want to pull out all the stops to save their pet, but the funds just aren’t there. And I hate it. That’s the worst part of my job; seeing people who love their animals so much but can’t afford to help them when emergencies strike. If I had a dollar for every time I saw it happen, I would be able to pay for all of it.
Anxiety in dogs
My dog is the light of my life. I’ve had him since the day he was born, and almost a year and a half later, I love watching him grow.
Why am I here?
Everyone has different reasons for why they take certain paths in life. I’ve learned that a lot during my first couple weeks in Army basic training. And it’s got me thinking about why I’m even here in the first place. Some of the girls are here for independence and to get away from their families. Definitely not my reason. Some are here to try something new or to get physically fit. Kinda of my reasons, but more secondary. Other people joined for financial stability and college funding. That’s a lot closer to my reasons, but still doesn’t quite hit the nail exactly on the head. I just feel like there’s something more that pushed me to be here...
The moment(s) I knew
Everyone hopes to find their perfect match. You know, the person who compliments them the best, the person they meet once and can’t imagine living without. You think you know exactly what you’re looking for. For me, I had a type. Tall, lanky, a little nerdy, a good dresser, and someone social and outgoing (since I’m so introverted).
Black Lives Matter
Let me preface this article by saying I in no way think this is going to change anything. I know one person alone isn't going to change the world, and I know it's going to take a lot more than me writing an article about how I feel about the black lives matter movement. But what I have to say needs to be said, and it needs to be said by a lot of people to make a difference.