My friend Roscoe (a lively heterosexual) created a comic, a graphic novel. The story talks about sex, but more importantly about Here and Now Forever, as a way of life. And some simple facts about the way most of us live, every single day, in hundreds of cities in the United States of America.
Living with an older porn filmmaker, a girl learns a thing or two about sexual desire. And about the necessity to get rid of all the old fantasies about monogamy. It is completely possible, and enjoyable to watch my Roscoe eat Bea, Eva and Rosalee -- and not feel one moment of jealousy. Romantic jealousy might be classified as a mental illness, a self-made anxiety tending toward self-destruction.
Nonlinear Landscapes (2018)
Many girls enjoy older men.... I know I do.
The curiousness of a short lucid dream startled me awake. What secret corner of my psyche shot out this fully developed cinematic fiction? Weeks later the question remains. Where did these ideas and imagery come from, ideas and images with no relation to anything I have personally experienced, or seen in films, or read in any book? The cinematic clarity was the most startling aspect, even more than cinema, it seemed I was a voyeur with high-resolution eyes and artistic camera angles, watching a tender reality unfold between a man and a woman. If the scene was played by an actor and actress, they were the most talented performers I have ever seen.
A heroin habit is expensive. It started as an Oxy-habit, raiding my parents medicine cabinet when I was fifteen years old. When the Oxy formula was changed, making it impossible to smoke off foil, it was back to heroin. Of course, if I made the effort, got vomit-y sick for a week or so, and stayed clean, I would not have the ongoing expense. But that is not so easy. And I have no stomach for it. I have gotten clean only those few days I have been in jail (not for drugs or hooking-- for driving on a suspended license with several speeding tickets.) So, for years, nearly fifteen years I have sucked cock for cash. Me and tens of thousands of other girls. Even girls with stable, employed husbands often suck cock for cash, to get what they want, and keep the man under control. I call those gals the Dominatrix-Karens. The soccer moms with high moral and social agendas, always promoting this or that trendy charity, who suck their husband's cock so he does exactly what he is told to do, exactly when he is told to do it.