Writing full time now in Phase II of his life. Tangential thinking and hippocampal reality from left to right on the page.
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Eat a Monster
We are all spinal animals, reflexic and epinephric--suprarenal. That wave of panic from the sacral segments to the cervical nerves bathes the brainstem perched at the precarious precipice that separates fight from flight. Fight or flight helped us survive; languishing in indecision betwixt the two and you don't survive.
HAL-9000 Mission Statement
It's a story of discovery, the cosmos, and murder. The Jupiter mission begins with living astronauts and me, the HAL-9000 computer, constructed, instructed, and made operational at the H.A.L. Plant in Urbana, Illinois, on the 12th of January, 1992. This story of discovery ends with all but one of the astronauts dead, at my mechanically realized hands. Only Dave Bowman survives--elsewhere--beyond even my understanding, leaving me alone with this new thing that has arisen out of a strange gestalt that has blindsided me.
The Birds and the Bees and the Knights of Columbus
No one knew why there was a box with an electric muscle massager in the large junk draw of the laundry room. Whether correct or incorrect, my little brother and I assumed it was for massaging muscles, like it showed in the pictures of happy, beautiful people using it all over their bodies. Greg was an inquisitive type, and soon we had plugged it in and were using it to massage all of our muscles, just like the happy, beautiful people, until...
Careful What Name You Choose
Shortly after moving into our new neighborhood, my wife found him on Interstate 12 in Louisiana. Unannounced, she delivered him to me, which was clearly against the rules. But our home is like the Roach Motel--if anything checks in, they never check out. The smell was painful, and after addressing the filth, tar, and matted hair, he was still unrecognizable as any particular breed.
Flight to Pamplona
I’ve never participated in the Pamplona bull run—the encierro—in San Fermin, Spain. The sheer thunderous weight of the large beasts who are funneled into the same municipal corridors as the human adventurers must be one of the most powerful vises for the adrenal glands ever devised. Confused animals are stoked into a rage at this juxtaposition, and the hard horns meeting fragile flesh, quite unnecessarily, fuels the exhilaration of unpredictable potential outcomes.
The Green Light District
I left with a song in my heart and a hop in my walk. I laughed because there really was a red light. Even funnier, they all accepted American Express. I had no idea how many dollars 179 Dutch Guilders would end up being, since this was years before the Euro, but when you’re not thinking with your brain, exchange rates go out the window.
The Zuckerman farm in Maine had seen better days. The large barn’s original color had long faded into the streaked, bland hues to which all pigments under the sun succumb, even if one summer at a time. Three barn spiders each had set up webs, occupying three corners, with the fourth corner of the edifice left alone, sacrosanct. The three spiders never spoke to each other, instead going about their business of ensnaring, confining, and eating. Their victims came and fell into oblivion, as if never having even been, except for the meals they provided.
Meow and Then
She lived alone with her cats, which is as alone as a person could get. She didn’t even have any worries living with her, like most folks do. Her mortgage had been paid off and she had no bills, so she never received anything in her mailbox that wasn’t junk mail. Her special needs trust was managed by a trustee who took care of the mundane costs of living, such as her utilities and phone bill, so the trustee, besides making sure the property taxes and phone were paid, didn’t do very much to earn his $800 each month.