Everyday Junglist
Bio
Practicing mage of the natural sciences (Ph.D. micro/mol bio), Thought middle manager, Everyday Junglist, Boulderer, Cat lover, No tie shoelace user, Humorist, Argan oil aficionado. Occasional LinkedIn & Facebook user
Stories (552/0)
Lazy Worlds
About this challenge The mysteries of the night sky have fueled storytelling since the dawn of time. Almost, but not quite as long as " since the dawn of time" has been considered one of the most cliche phrases in all of writing for describing a long period of time. And only slightly longer than "mysteries of the night sky" has been recognized as an ultra lazy, way overused method for alluding to the various phenomenon of space that have sparked the curiosity of man since the dawn of time. The celestial bodies above tell a tale of the past while beckoning us to step into the future. Meanwhile the future is always sitting there just out of reach, until one shortest measurable unit of time possible later, it is the present, and we are there, thinking to ourselves, damn that was fast. But before we even have time to wipe our butts or blow our noses all of a sudden its the past and we are standing there again with our fingers up our noses asking for change on a street corner somewhere raving about aliens and the coming end of man or some crazy shit like that. What might that future hold? What might you hold in the future? Besides a shit ton of debt of course. Commercial space travel? Travel commercials in space? First contact with alien lifeforms? or first contact with lawyers from the movie Alien unhappy about us ripping off the tagline from their 1979 scifi horror classic to use as a truly terrible writing challenge prompt? Technological advancements that extend the human lifespan to 500 years? or culinary advancements that extend the human waistband to 500 inches? Who can say? Future man, that's who. or you, maybe you, if you are a terrible sci fi writer or just terrible writer. Either future man or you can say in this challenge. Or, you can turn down this challenge like a big wuss and go home to your mom and cry, like you always do.
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Futurism
Making the Case for Simulation Hypothesis Variants
Author's preface: See link here for additional info that forms that background of this discussion Logical argument for SH1 (both ourselves and the universe are 100% simulated) — From P. Kassan, Skeptic magazine, 21.4 2016
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Futurism
The Simulation Hypothesis and Possible Variants
In the most common and discussed version of the simulation hypothesis all of reality is nothing more than an ultra sophisticated computer program. This includes not only everything that makes up what we consider to be the universe but also ourselves. We exist in the simulation and are also simulated beings. I will call this protypical version of the simulation hypothesis SH1. (pretty imaginative for a simulation right?) There are a few possible variants of SH1 that we might imagine.
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Futurism
The Simulationist’s Confession
Examination of Conscience As you prepare to make a good confession, you want to ask the Simulator(s) forgiveness for any way in which you have offended him/them but particularly for any serious offense against/within the simulation. If you are not certain what you should bring to confession, do not be afraid to check online for help. The internet is there to assist you and to share with you the Simulator(s) love and mercy.
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Futurism
Sex and the Single Simulationist & The Simulationist's Marriage
One of the questions I get asked most often from young simulationists’s that come to my various seminars or read my books has to do with the purpose of sex and procreation within the simulation. Many are understandably confused when they first become awoken and realize that everything they thought was fact or were taught was true about the universe and their place in it was in error. In many this triggers an extended period of soul searching, deep thought and other contemplative exercises that can result in changes in their personalities and life goals. For a majority the information is taken in stride and these self critical examinations are for the good, while for others they can spiral into self and simulation destructive activities. In either case there often comes a time when questions about relationships with the opposite sex, romantic love, sexual relations, procreation and family become more and more important. At these times deep thoughts about the purpose of sex, love, and procreation are common.
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Futurism
7 Things People Who Are Terrible With Money Always Buy
You don’t have to be poor to be terrible with money. However, a lot of poor people are terrible with money — and it’s how they got to be that way. Bums and indigents often aren’t living the lifestyle you might think they are. Instead, they’re spending every penny they can beg, borrow, or steal, and tend to spend way more than they can afford. They’re always looking for ways to spend their money, rather than save it.
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Confessions
Rental Car Reviews Episode 1 - 2021 Toyota Camry
I travel on a fairly regular basis for work, and when I do travel I often need to obtain a rental car. In recent years I have been traveling enough that I have attained Executive status with National Rental Car. It is a high honor to even be considered for membership in such a prestigious program, so to actually be accepted into it was something I never thought possible. No longer would I be just another nobody in the faceless mob of emerald aisle members for whom membership requires only visiting the National website, filling in some personal information, and then hitting submit. I always knew someday I would be an executive and thanks to National Rental car that dream has finally come true.
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Wheel
Local Man Realizes All of the Important Decisions in His Life Made While Sitting On Toilet
While sitting on the toilet this morning delivering a rather large Macaroni Grill inspired number 2 local man Ted Stephens realized all of the important decisions of his life had been made from this exact same position. The visibly straining Mr. Stephens said of this striking realization "I've always been very regular when it comes to toilet matters. For almost ten years now, every Sunday morning before church at Saint Michael's I have dropped the kids off at the pool, if you know what I mean. Usually, the time passes by uneventfully with me reading the Sunday Times or doing a crossword puzzle. However, this Sunday as I sat grunting and waiting impatiently for the movement of my bowels which would signal the final release of the massive chunk of fecal matter from my formerly clogged colon, I realized something. All of the most important decisions in my life to this point had been made from this exact same position. This includes my decision on where to attend college, what to major in, and what job to take when I graduated. Also, the last three cars I have bought, the decision to purchase the house me and Jane (current wife Jane Stephens) still live in ten years later, and the decision to try and have children. Of course, not all the decisions were right, or very good really. For example, I also had the bright idea to propose to my former wife Lan-lan (Laura) while sweating profusely and groaning loudly attempting to clear a rather large build up of brown mashed potatoes from dinner at Chili's the night before. She later left me for that snake in the grass and former best friend Jimmi (Jim Currant). I definitely took a hell of a dump that day." said Mr. Stephens as a look of sadness and regret crossed his face. With that Mr. Stephens stood, wiped his ass three times, flushed the toilet, closed the lid, turned and walked away.
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Filthy
I'm Sorry But Any Writer on This Site That Does Not Allow Comments on Their Stories is a Coward
At first I was very pleased when I first learned that comments on Vocal stories would now be allowed. At my former home, publishing on Medium.com I made my hay in the comments, and did some of my best writing work there. Many of these comments eventually turned into stories of their own and they tended to be some of my best work. At Medium comments were a part of the structure of the site from day one. Given its pro censorship stance it's not too surprising that it was not the case at Vocal which only introduced the ability to comment on stories very recently. Censorship and the free exchange of ideas that comments allows do not exactly go hand in hand. I do appreciate that the default position of each story is to allow comments and that a writer must pro-actively select to turn them off. Given the pro-censorship position of the people in charge at Vocal this did surprise me somewhat. Censors are concerned with limiting the free exchange of ideas and any project which increases at least the possibility of such exchanges will be discouraged. It is doubly surprising defaulting to allowing comments given Vocal's stated mission to act as our all knowing protectors and keep us safe from any content that might make us uncomfortable or scare us or even make us cry. Comments are where internet bullies and abusers live and breathe after all.
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Confessions
Biological Agents Could Be Terrifyingly Effective Weapons of Modern War
In comparison to radiological, nuclear, conventional, and even chemical, biological agents have many significant advantages, all of which together make them potentially terrifyingly effective weapons of modern war. Below is a condensed list of some of the most important.
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in The Swamp
I Took My Wife's Ashes to the Beach Today
Hard to believe it has been close to six years since I lost the love of my life, my then wife Victoria. We had only been married for barely two years though our relationship spanned over fifteen (on and off, mostly on) prior to our marriage. The only reason we tied the knot after all that time was familial and societal pressure. I still view it as one of the worst decisions of my life and will hold a grudge against the institution of marriage, in its current western form at least, for the remainder of my own life because of it. It is not at all because I regret the choice of wife, I loved Victoria as much as any man can love a woman. Rather, it is because of all the baggage that came, and still comes along with it. The expectations, the lifestyle, pretty much everything about it rubbed us both the wrong way. And yet, because of pressure we did it, we got married. It was well on its way to ruining our relationship when I got very ill in 2015 ending up hospitalized for a month, three weeks of which were spent in the ICU, a result of a necrotizing pancreatitis which came from nowhere. I almost (did, depending on whom you ask) died in that hospital bed. Then as I was still recovering from that life altering experience, suddenly, she was gone. The details are too painful to relate here, but suffice to say I couldn't help her, did not help her when she needed it most, and so I lost her, forever. Of course I blamed myself, and still do, and I have struggled and continue to struggle everyday with the ramifications of that.
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Humans
My Most Popular Article Ever
Author's preface: I was futzing around in Google Maps a few days ago and stumbled across a section which listed a number of reviews I had written of different locations I had visited while using Google's wildly popular mapping software. There were a grand total of six of these reviews, which, ironically, was exactly six more than I remembered having ever written. The page view stats for each were also listed. To my great surprise one of my reviews, for a small business in the town where my parents live, had 2036 views. This is >1000 more than any other single article I have yet published on the web (~2,500 in 5 years writing regularly or semi regularly). The business is known as A Yarn Crossing. To give just a bit of context, A Yarn Crossing is a store I would never, ever, even consider visiting, were it not for my mom and her interest in knitting, and my need for a last minute Mother's Day gift. I am not sure if I should be happy or terribly depressed that the piece had so much interest. It was intended to be a parody of an actual review, but, given the many comments people made in reply, I am fairly certain most people did not take it as such. The events did happen exactly as I describe them, but my own reactions of dismay and upset are greatly, greatly exaggerated as is the earnestness and seriousness of the tone of the article. In any event, without further ado, but with a totally unnecessary add on introductory sentence intended only to pad my word count so that I can hit the Vocal.media mandatory minimum of six hundred, I present to you A Yarn Crossing, the Google review. Unfortunately, that waste of space and time only brought me to five hundred and thirty five words, necessitating the addition of yet more filler material. Sorry about that. Blame Vocal.media and their terribly, terribly, terribly, stupid policy. Damn, only five hundred and eighty. How the f*&ck hard can it be to write six hundred G*! D&*n words. WTF? Oh, there we go. Phew....
By Everyday Junglist2 years ago in Humans