We hate to be the bearer of bad news, but let’s face it, at least someone around here is bearing something. Sadly, after 35 years, that someone still isn't you—and it is for this very reason we have decided to write this letter. After extensive discussion with the fallopian tubes and your biological clock, and on behalf of your entire reproductive system, we have decided to retire from ovulating.
I have had many great teachers in my life, but none have taught me more than the greatest teacher of all-life. Through experience and problem based learning, life has given me more knowledge than any university or vocational school in existence. You may live and you may learn. And yes, you may never actually graduate. But at the end of the day, when all is said and done, who cares? Life isn’t all about the destination or the graduation, it’s about the journey—the forks, crossroads, and detours on the way. Life has been tough, and the road quite steep at times. But I’ve done my best to push through and keep moving. I’ve learned so much and yet so little at the same time. Many things I wish I had learned the easy way but instead I was forced to learn the hard way. Here are nine important things I wish I learned sooner in life.
Virginity: The state or condition of being pure, fresh, or unused. Great definition — not sure how I’d like to describe the pinnacle moment of losing my virginity now that it technically meant I was contaminated, burnt out, blown, depleted, and worn. I was now nothing more but an expended hand-me-down. I lost my virginity, and that makes me damaged goods all of a sudden? I prefer to think of myself as an antique. You know, like a time-honored, skilled veteran. Screw Webster and his dumb dictionary. How typical, doesn’t even know me and already trying to judge me. What gives him the right to appraise me anyhow? Damaged goods, my foot! No one has the right to judge us, nor define us. We define ourselves, and most of the time we are our biggest critics. We know who we are better than anyone else, why do we go out of our way to prove to others that which we already know? I know I’m not damaged goods, but perhaps I felt that way because I lost my virginity pre-maturely and not in the most pleasant of ways. The easiest way of dealing with things is to turn the other way, to bury the memories far away, so as never to deal with them again. The problem is when things are buried alive, they haunt you for eternity. No matter how much time passed, those demons plagued me in some way or another, without me even knowing it, subconsciously. They made their way into every relationship I had, skewed my reality, and took over the reigns of my mind, leaving me powerless in my own skin.
Most of us have a way with dealing with things that bother us, it’s called denial...great place to visit, horrible place to live. We bottle up the very things we should be letting out, until eventually like a soda can that’s been shook one too many times, we explode. Not dealing with things that bother us doesn’t make these things go away, on the contrary it makes things worse. It’s like having a credit card bill that you never open, the bill doesn’t disappear, it only grows larger. Try these 11 simplest ways to lose that excess emotional weight and say hello to a happier, lighter, and brighter you!
You’ve had the same group of friends since high school and you're the only one in your group who isn’t married with children? Between their kid's soccer practice and ballet recitals, your friends can hardly squeeze in the time to meet for a quick coffee, and on the rare occasions they do, you find yourself thanking your lucky stars for being single because all you’ve been listening to from the moment they sat down is how awful married life is. As much as you miss spending time with your friends, you're almost relieved when they have to go because let’s face it, there’s only a certain amount of negativity you can handle, and they’ve somehow managed to surpass that amount within the first five minutes of sitting down. You glance at your watch and can’t help but wonder to yourself, where would one make new friends when you're an adult and no longer in school? Making friends was a lot easier when you were growing up; it was almost second nature and didn’t require much thought. But making new friends when you're an adult sounds a lot harder than it really has to be. In fact, here are five easy ways you're sure to make new friends as an adult.
To live and die in LA, it's the place to be as Tupac said it best....maybe to live and to die in LA, yes ...but to date in LA is a definite no! Ask anyone who’s ever lived in LA, they’ll tell you, it’s suicide. Being single in LA doesn't even exist, you're either married or part of a clique, like a Hells Angels singles gang that took you in and under its wing when some asshole broke your heart and left you to drown in your own tears. They took you in and nursed your broken heart back to health with drink binging and club hopping. Each squad is solid, a true team, they are always there for one another and you can be certain, there is never a dull moment.