I can’t remember when I decided I was a bad artist but I know it was before high school. Sitting in ASB at 17, painting footballs with the players' names on them, I loudly proclaimed that I was not a good artist and I never had been. I recently realized that was a lie.
I’ve always resonated with the character traits of my astrological sign (Aquarius) because I always found myself focusing on life’s “big picture” questions (I’m also stubborn af). Because of these Aquarian tendencies one of my most distinct memories from my childhood is being about six years old and riding in the back of my parents car past our Catholic church. This church sat at the midway point between my parents and my grandparents and I must have rode past it more times than I can count. We had just left my Granny’s house and were in route to our home when I looked at the church and thought, “What if none of this is real? What if this whole world is just a test for me so God can find out if I’m good enough?”
At least once a week during my yoga or meditation practice I hear the phrase “Let go of what does not serve you”. I like how that sounds. When I hear that phrase I like to picture all the things that don’t serve me falling off my body like tiny soot sprites. I imagine myself energetically lighter and buoyant. But, I’ve recently ran into an issue with this phrase. Last week, while I was doing this during my Yoga with Adriene home yoga video I realized that I loved how letting go of what does not serve me looks and feels but I have no idea what the things that I’m letting go of actually are.