I’m a poet with sprinklings of fiction. I write with the soul, so I hope you find it interesting and relatable
08/07/21 Dear Unnamed, I want my life to be like a movie or like one of the classic books I love so much. I want to find a love like what my parents have. I want to find someone who kissses my cheeks and fingers and knows my favorite sandwich and how I like my coffee and love me as entirely and unconditionally as I love them. I want someone who calls me hon because that’s what my parents do. I want someone who calls me love because that’s what the poems do. I want someone who will walk and dance in the rain with me. I want someone who will shamelessly sing in the car with me. I want someone who will check the kitchen for me when something falls and who will fight my hallucinations for me just to put me at ease. I want someone who isn’t afraid of meeting my parents, who respects my mom and jokes with my dad. I want someone who doesn’t think I’m crazy for counting stairs and sidewalk cracks. I want someone who will read poetry to me while I lay in their lap. I want someone who will watch romcoms with me. I want someone who will dance in the living room with me to one of my CDs. I want someone who isn’t afraid to say “I love you”. I want someone who will stay with me through the vision loss and all the anger and sadness it will bring. I want someone who is patient and understanding.
08/08/21 Dear Unnamed There are few things that I am absolutely certain of, but my unconditional love for you is one of them. I have always and will always love you with my entire soul. You have always taken such good care of me, and I will forever appreciate every last thing you’ve ever done for me.
Counting Wishes Like Sheep
01/26/20 “I wish I wrote the way I thought; obsessively, incessantly, with maddening hunger. I’d write to the point of suffocation. I’d write myself into nervous breakdowns, manuscripts spiraling out like tentacles into abysmal nothing. And I’d write about you a lot more than I should.”
08/05/21 Dear Unnamed, You died six years ago as of today. I just want you to know that I miss you very much. I know we didn’t know each other long, but you were still extremely important to me, nonetheless. You did so much for me and my sisters. You flew us and Mom up to New York every summer to come visit you and the rest of the family. You would randomly send us little knickknacks that reminded you of us. And you hired bagpipers to play in your backyard for my birthday one year. You always went above and beyond for me, for all of us, really. I wish I knew you longer than I did. From everything I know about you, you’re a beautiful soul who deserves nothing but love and respect. You’re an inspiration and I am so fortunate that I got to know you, albeit only for a little while. I will always cherish the few years I got to spend with you. I love you.
04/21/21 The Society Jan 28 The dreams keep getting worse. Sometimes they’re so loud, it’s like a bomb is going off. Other times, it’s deafening silence. Have you ever noticed how when it’s that quiet, the silence has its own sound? I guess that’s why we say it’s deafening. And there are screaming people. I don’t know which is worse: the dreams in which I can hear them, or the dreams in which i see them frozen with their mouths open and eyes bulging. There are bodies everywhere; most are motionless on the ground. The little bodies are the most disturbing because I know two things with full certainty: they are children, and they are dead. And there isn’t anything you can do for the dead.
08/02/21 Dear Unnamed, You fell in love with me at first sight— or so you say. That’s all I’ve ever wanted to have— a fairytale type of love. My dad claims he loved my mom at first sight. He’s always been so sure he loved her. I love quickly and unconditionally. I’ve always wanted it in return, but never thought I’d find it. And then I found you. And i could not be more grateful or happy or lucky.