As someone diagnosed with quite severe social anxiety, being out in the world is scary enough. But having to deal with a phobia of public transport too? Not ideal.
Shaking. Heart racing. Sweating. Dizziness. Disorientated. Panicking. Overly hot or overly cold. Anxiety is like being at the edge of a cliff, about to fall. And why does it happen? Because you’re about to pay for your items in a shop, because you’re taking the bus alone, because you’re one minute late, or because you’re walking to work even though you’ve done it for two years, but this random time you’re going bloody crazy. Half the time I feel like I’m insane and ridiculous, it takes a while to realise it's just my anxiety.
I woke up today. Or did I? I can’t really tell.
As a young teen I was very shy, that student in the class that would go bright red if her name was called, and the one that always knew what work we needed to do. I was quiet, awkward, and anxious, always had a head full of thoughts, but said barely any of it. That is far from who I am now.