Talking to My Younger Self
Dear Dylan,
I have so much to tell, prepare yourself, life will put you through hell. You'll start to feel hopeless and that will make you unwell. There's no need to worry, you'll break out of that shell. I know you feel scared, anxiety holds you back from potential. Remember those rhymes that you wrote down with your pencil? That's right you're a poet, and you already know it! Can't you see the signs? You're starting to show it! I know you think the rap scene is only a dream, but one day you'll realize it's more than it seems. I know you have the idea that you will go to college, and you do, but honestly it doesn't teach us real knowledge. You actually go twice to two institutions, powerline and finance, it's all just a nuisance. You'll drop out of both courses and develop manic depression. It get's in the way of your passion but it will teach you lesson. Unfortunately, you grow up in the midst of recession and it's going to take some time before you see the progression. You'll be given a gift and start to live in the present, more on that later, let's get back to the present. I guess for me it's the past, but anyways listen, high school is a blast. You may not be cool, you're anti-social and different, you still know a lot of people, you're not weird just indifferent. If you think the anxiety is hard then you're in for a hell of a ride, what happens next year is one hell of a surprise. You'll have a seizure in woodshop that leaves behind a chin scar, and you'll go for a ride in the principal's car. It happens some more and the doctor's stay skeptic, they run multiple tests and diagnose you as epileptic. You'll have to wait an extra year for your driver's license, and it doesn't get better I've lost it twice since. It only get's worse the problems keep stacking, and you resort to drug use when depression's attacking. An alcoholic stepfather, grades start declining, a few speeding tickets, then things start aligning. That all goes away, you will make it through, life will get better, best believe that is true. You will have a couple of girlfriends, and you'll break both their hearts. You'll have lot's of parties and play lot's of darts. I just wish that you would be a little bit smarter, the drugs that you take only make your life harder. Sure they're amazing and alleviate all your problem's! Except that's temporary and who's left to solve them? Me. Your future self with a burden to carry, left behind from a past life that I'd prefer to be buried. The years in-between where you are and what's coming. The good times are seldom, but I guess they're worth something. You will go on a few good vacations to the best destinations, just wait for your moments, stay humble and patient. You'll go on a trip to LA and have a wonderful stay. A period in time where everything is okay! Then over the sea's with a group from your school, to Switzerland and Italy, and that's really cool! That's where you'll find what you thought was true love, your second girlfriend sent from above. You'll take her to prom and she'll look so perfect, looking back at it now I don't think you deserve it. You spend the day getting drunk, then at night you get high. It get's worse the next autumn, when you tell her goodbye. The things that you do in the following years... I regret them the most and some bring me tears. I won't go into detail, you don't hurt anyone but yourself. When the rock meets the bottom, you spend four years in hell. If I could go back I would take the same path, maybe switch a few footsteps but never mind that, have no worry's and do the best that you can, it will take you sometime but you'll become a man.
