Deziyre Lake-Tusing

When I was only thirteen years old, I experienced my first toxic relationship as well as my first heartbreak. It wasn't toxic because we were young and didn't fully understand the meaning of love, it was toxic because I was never good enough for that person and they lived to treat me as if I had less value than the dirt on the ground.

I come to the shoreline after dark,

Trigger Warning: This story contains contents that may trigger others from past trauma.

When I was a freshman in high school, all the girls in their ninth-grade gym classes were taught self-defense should they ever come in contact with a predator one day. I was informed that one in four girls are sexually abused or raped by the age of eighteen. Back then I knew deep down in my heart that one day I'd be that one put of four girls. I was right. I hate being right.

Rain smelling of sweet nectar,

Growing up I've heard the words, “stay away from boys. You’re too young to understand what love is,” quite frequently. I believed in those words and listened to them as much as I could. I was not confident in myself and so I never thought any guy would ever walk into my life and choose me. I hate how much I was wrong.