I always thought working out was just in my mind: that I wasn't working out regularly because I hadn't figured out how to train my brain to just do it, and not stop doing it. For a lot of hobbies, this is the usual pattern: Try it, do it regularly, and eventually, you'll highlight all the great things about what makes it so much fun and enjoyable for you, therefore motivating you to keep doing it.
The truth is: not everyone wants to flit from one person to the next for the rest of their lives. You're at that stage where you want to get serious, but every relationship you put effort into still seems to fizzle out after a certain period of time. You wonder if it's something you said, or something you did since every relationship ends up the same way, and you eventually conclude that it's probably a weird combination of both of those things. Coincidence? Possibly. Is there a lesson that can be learned here? Absolutely.
Relationships are a complicated creature to understand. We hear all about it from family and friends all the time: you fight, yell at each other, someone's crying and then suddenly your emotions are all over the place and you're not sure about your relationship, let alone what you're going to make for dinner. Then a few days later, you're holding hands walking down the street all over again, laughing about some stupid meme you saw the other day. Some couples can go on following this pattern for years and still maintain a strong bond throughout all the turmoil of disagreements and screaming matches, while others might be more adamant about solving all their relationship problems right away to avoid conflict may not last as long as long term as others.
In every relationship, whether a new relationship or one that's been through the honeymoon phase before, date night is an essential part of keeping the flame alight. But sometimes it can be hard to work around that expensive dinner spot that will really impress, or that movie you wanted to watch but you know that it won't really be as special as you want it to be. Sometimes you just want to have that spontaneous, fun night out without breaking the bank!
If you've been hiding under a rock for the last little while, perhaps feeling a little bit lonely, wishing you could share that last slice of pizza with someone else, or maybe you're fresh out of a relationship and you're ready to try again—just staring out into the vast blue ocean we call dating can be a little bit intimidating.
The end of a long term relationship is a lot like raising a child; it's frustrating, can often be loud and demeaning, and you're usually left in a puddle of a mess without any rhyme or reason as to how you ever possibly convinced yourself that any of this was a good idea to begin with. But the end of a long term relationship, specifically in your 20s, can be even more frustrating and full of hate; you're young and inexperienced, broken, and with no idea how to be single. There are countless amounts of articles and blog posts online that could give you everything you need to know about working through your breakup: from how to get over your ex, to things you should never do after a break up, to websites that weasel single people straight into them dirty porn advertisements. And while we comb through these patronizing methods of online dating and meet-up sites to try to sort out what feelings we have left, I have found that there isn't really a place that showcases the true terror of what it feels like to have half of your soul torn out of your body, tendrils of your insides spilling out of your eyes, and your nostrils in big, messy globs. One would think that helpful breakup advice could potentially render a person quite wealthy beyond measure...unfortunately, I don't really have any of that. In fact, I'm quite uncertain anyone really has any at all, and it's most likely because it all comes down to being really sad for a while before the countless masturbation sessions just end up boring you and you wander off again in search of your next future soulmate/ex. With all that being said, cleaving off the end of a long term relationship during that moment in your life when serious adulthood is just within finger's reach, all while you're still standing knee-deep in the goop-y, green sludge that is your youth can be a great teaching moment. Therefore, I present to you: the lessons I have learned from surviving single life in my 20s. Enjoy my pain.