It took a while before he agreed to follow his girlfriend to the shore. And honestly, I don't blame him. It was cold, raining and every gust of wind held enough power to make you lose your balance. I remember looking at the girl, wondering why on earth she wanted to go now. After all, I had been walking behind them for long enough to learn that she's studying in Brighton. She could go anytime. Why now?
For years I struggled with academical performance anxiety. I’m not talking about feeling nervous before a test or the occasional doubt one might have about their own capabilities. I’m talking about skipping class because I’m worried I’ll get a question I won’t be able to answer, sleeping over 14 hours a day just to avoid thinking and then crying for hours because I feel stuck in a position I’m not qualified for.
I used to work for an employment agency. I used to get sent off to work at different locations, mostly to help cater the lunch at big companies, and did it on and off for about three years. Though the setting and people who I worked with, or for changed, I always found myself answering the same questions, and ending up feeling the same way.
He left, and instead of leaving me empty he left me filled with unresolved emotions. Filled with anger, and with doubt, and with guilt. He left, and in doing so he branded me with a mark that went so deep I still feel it.
If the law of attraction is real, and we attract the thing with the same frequency we’re vibrating on, could it be that by listening to certain songs—vibrating on that frequency as you put your heart and soul in singing along with it—we’re telling the universe that is what we want? Everything in your life right now could then be a manifestation of your favorite song. Perhaps a childhood favorite, one that you sang over and over and over; one that you would still know by heart. What if the law of attraction is real and you’ve been vibrating to that song for years. The universe and its laws never fail, so you would have experienced it. Maybe you’re still experiencing it.
So it started off with a cigarette—as most interesting things do. We were smoking on the Riva looking for people to flyer when he came up to me. Dark blonde hair, black shirt, long denim jeans. He looked about 17 years old, but had four tattoos on his left arm and a guitar on his back. He asked me what my name was and started singing when I told him. When I asked for his name, he looked me in the eyes, took a few seconds, smiled, and said Phillip. It was at that moment that I knew that the conversation I was about to have would be a very interesting one. I could've never predicted how interesting.