chembarathi
Bio
In search of the stories I cannot hold in my heart.
https://linktr.ee/chembarathi
Stories (23/0)
Caveman Syndrome
When the times were unprecedented and we were trying to figure out the new normal, I felt at home with the new way of working. I didn't have to bother about how to get to the office, sitting in front of bosses for long hours and eating home-cooked meals that were half-frozen by the office air-conditioning. For the antisocial inside me, the pandemic turned out to be a blessing in disguise. So it isn't a wonder that when the restrictions began to lift one by one, I was ill-suited to the world we used to live in. Recently I came to know from a bumble date that this is called caveman syndrome. So when I say I have been living under the rock for most of the pandemic, it is not a figure of speech.
By chembarathi2 years ago in Humans
What advice would I give to my teenage self?
One particular memory randomly materialized in front of my eyes when I thought about those terrible teenage years. It was a Sunday and I was attending one inter-school program and we had an impromptu quiz. The quiz master asked, what is the expansion of LPG? We were part of a girls-only school and the first thing that came to our mind was Liquid Petroleum Gas. The quiz master smirked and passed on that question to a boys-only group. The correct answer of Liberalisation, Privatisation & Globalisation came from their side. Needless to say, we were embarrassed and the smirk on the quiz master's face is something that I never forgot. Even without any explicit words, it was written in his face that girls would never think beyond Liquid Petroleum Gas and our destinies are forever tied to the four walls of the kitchen.
By chembarathi2 years ago in Humans
Hard hitting truths about dating as a millennial
Every once in a while I venture into the world of online dating. It is more to get out of my comfort zone than to find someone to date. These sporadic adventures have lasted a month at the most. After a couple of days of swiping left and right, I could feel the energy draining out of my body. I used to wonder if there is something fundamentally wrong with me that I am so "undateable"(Thank you, Frances Ha). Fortunately, I stumbled on Millennial Love by Olivia Peter this time and I learnt that it was the kind of companion I was looking for in this sad and lonely world, somebody who tells their stories in a self-deprecating way and makes us nod in agreement all the while.
By chembarathi2 years ago in Humans
Breaking Away
Breaking Away Photo by Jackson Simmer on Unsplash34 years of existence and the sheer exhaustion of carrying out the responsibilities that were entrusted to me even before adulthood, finally made me say, "Enough is enough! I deserve a break from everything!" There were days when I could feel the whole weight of the responsibilities on my shoulder and it started manifesting as physical pain. I didn't realize how tightly wound up I was until then.
By chembarathi2 years ago in Humans
All About Love
It's been almost a month since bell hooks left this world. For the cynic inside me, it is much easier to accept the lovelessness in this world than coming to terms with the loss of bell hooks. She came to me at a time when I thought that nothing could melt my frozen heart. But against the coldness of all my prejudices and cynicism, her wise words about love slowly warmed me up.
By chembarathi2 years ago in Humans
The Faraway Nearby
And I met Rebecca Solnit again, while she was wondering about what to do with the huge pile of apricots she received as a kind of inheritance from her mother. From there, we went on a journey together, flipping through a book of stories that we have been telling ourselves since childhood. Those were stories of resentment, of helplessness of childhood, of places getting attached to our core of being, of pain and its necessity in life and of a million other things that I am yet to find the right words for.
By chembarathi2 years ago in Humans
Hair Tales
Let me tell you the story of curly-haired girls before it was fashionable. I am naturally curly and have never straightened my hair even once. As a child, I have been called many names for having this wild hair - Bhadrakaali, Parachi, Aadivasi et al (These are some caste-based slurs in my mother tongue). All these insults were not from strangers, but from within the family. It is one of the reasons why I still have to struggle with self-confidence. Everything starts at home.
By chembarathi2 years ago in Confessions
Reflection
When India was in its first phase of lockdown in 2020, the thing that most disturbed me was not the statistics about the rising covid cases. It was the picture of migrant workers walking towards their hometowns in the vast landscape of a country like India with little or no support from anyone. How utterly isolating that experience is? At the same time, I was sitting in the comfort of a home complaining about the limited stock available for the groceries. After seeing the devastating stories posted all over the Internet, I could not help wondering about how I ended up in such a position of privilege while the majority of my fellow citizens were going through such a crisis. It is pure dumb luck and nothing else. Our place and family of birth play a bigger role in shaping our destinies far more than we are willing to give credit for.
By chembarathi2 years ago in Humans
Slow Traveling
It has been two years since I took a vacation. The reason why I was able to survive this pandemic life so far is because of the kind of vacation I had taken back then. I remember booking an Airbnb, flights etc without having any plan about ticking off places from my travel list. I was in between jobs and life felt a lot freer without any obligation to fulfil. It is a rarity in my life.
By chembarathi2 years ago in Wander
What I feel about being stuck in my career
A scroll through LinkedIn raises the inferiority complex each day. Even though I stay away from almost every other social media platform, I keep LinkedIn active. No extra points in guessing the motivation for that. I apply for jobs and in between look at others' profiles, all the while comparing my professional journey to theirs. In Instagram, it used to be personal journeys -- who is having money, house, taking vacations etc. LinkedIn screws me up in a different way. Although I am quite aware that everyone's journey is different, it is hard to let go of the constant comparison. It pushes me to have a life that is expected by the outside world even though I have always been trying to go the other way.
By chembarathi2 years ago in Humans