Caroline Egan
Bio
Hailing from Dublin, Ireland, Caroline has a variety of published fiction and non-fiction, written in a wry style on all things nerdy and neurotic. Her collection of essays Fahckmylife: The Little Book of Fahck, is available on Amazon.
Stories (37/0)
Selfies, Fat, Sweat and Tears
[Please excuse the number of selfies in this — I’m trying to demonstrate a point] When I turned 30 something crazy happened — my twenties had been wrought with insecurities surrounding how I looked, my teens even more so but suddenly I didn’t really care anymore. In fact, when I looked back on my twenties and earlier, from my thirties I wondered why I was bothered at all — I wasn’t half as bad as I was led to believe, or more importantly, had come to believe. In fairness, I didn’t regularly start wearing make-up till I was 25 and had no actual skin routine till I was even older than that. When I look back though, I can see how outside influences had an impact on me when I was gullible and naïve and how I gave other peoples’ opinions much more value than they were worth. And now I dress whatever way I want, covered in tattoos and giving way less of I shit about it… or so I thought…
By Caroline Egan3 years ago in Viva
Things to Consider When Self-publishing (part 2)
Products, providers, and pricing Part 2 The next area in self-publishing that I feel is important covers the format that your books can take as well as the way that you can distribute them and how to choose who to use to distribute your work.
By Caroline Egan3 years ago in Journal
Things to consider when self-publishing
So you’ve finished your masterpiece and want to show it off? You feel like you don’t have the clout to take it to publishers, or maybe even have been rejected by some. However, you still have some faith left in your work and that there potentially is a market for it. Self-publishing is definitely a way you can go, giving you much more freedom and creative control over your own work. However, there is a lot more work involved than simply putting it out there.
By Caroline Egan3 years ago in Journal
Chuck Palahniuk is an Absolute Legend
Chuck Palahniuk is a Legend So I thought I’d like to tell you a little story today about something positive (for a change) that happened amidst the drudgery of this ridiculous pandemic. Back last summer when COVID was still a relatively new thing, that some of us had ambitiously hoped would simply disappear soon, Chuck Palahniuk ran a competition to win signed copies of his book Fight Club to lighten the darkening mood. Despite being a pretty big fan of his work I didn’t know about it, but my good friend Anne Marie did. And you know what she did?! That sneaky sausage only went and entered that competition on my behalf, with what I can only assume was an amazingly written and excellently polished essay of flattering lies about me! I did not, however, receive a signed copy of Fight Club as a result. Instead I found out that I was to receive a personalised gift from Chuck himself. Honestly, I was flabbergasted (a word I hate using as it sounds like I’m dribbling) and did a little squeal that will never be witnessed by anyone again.
By Caroline Egan3 years ago in Geeks
50 Points in Time
We've all reached points when suddenly we know that a date or early stage relationship isn't going to work. Sometimes it makes sense, like seeing some red flags, and other times it can be a strange arbitrary thing - like not liking her eyeliner or laugh. I'm not saying I'm cool or above criticism but here are a few of the things that I have encountered that have made me reconsider seeing said person ever again. Most of these are from my 30's too, a time when I'm way less likely to waste time and spot signals that lead to bad places, but some of them are just stupid things that I couldn't get over. I am a fickle creature. I know, I'm SUCH a catch!
By Caroline Egan3 years ago in Humans
Getting back into writing during a pandemic
I have had some serious brain fog recently when it comes to writing – like a severe mental block. I know what to do to get out of it, but as of yet, have not had the motivation to do anything about it. Well, I mean apart from now – which is the first step. I’m not going to say I’m an expert, or even particularly skilled at writing, but I am trying desperately to kick start my brain again, which has switched to zombie-mode in the middle of a pandemic.
By Caroline Egan3 years ago in Motivation
How to generate some cash during a pandemic...
Apparently, the recession was over and we're all supposed to be temporarily ok? Well at least for the moment, right? And it's not like rent is super expensive either so we should be OK! Capitalism totally works - sure work is there for everyone who needs it. And who knows with this pandemic what is around the corner!
By Caroline Egan3 years ago in Lifehack
Why Didn't I Think of That Earlier?
There is little more frustrating than the inability to come up with a witty or off-the-cuff remark when insulted (either accidentally or on purpose). You freeze. Possibly stand still. If you’re anything like me the word "fuck" repeats over and over in your head in this really urgent loop. Sometimes I used walk away to only realise at a later point that I have little crescent moons embedded in my palms from having my fists so tightly balled. The funny thing is that maybe half an hour later it comes to you—the exact thing that would’ve been perfect to say. The exact thing that would’ve knocked that smug look right off their face, or if they’d inadvertently offended you, make them reconsider the fact that they obviously hadn’t thought of your feelings. You know you’re better than this, right? You’re better than them. This wasn’t you at your best and you go mad thinking about how you’d do things differently and you would be the one walking away high-fiving people and looking smugger (is that even a word?) than that sap Juliette Lewis.
By Caroline Egan7 years ago in Humans
Internet Dating Makes James Van Der Beek Cry
Before this seems like I’m going off on some rant about internet dating and how shit it is—I’m not. I’ve done it quite a bit for the last few years—mixed results mostly (partially because I never know what the fuck I want exactly)—and I have met some nice people. I’ve also met some complete loons as well… but I guess at least I have stories.
By Caroline Egan7 years ago in Humans