Times are extremely hard in this economy. Bills are way too high and everyone is short on money it seems. What no one really voices is that when you are short on money, money that you desperately need, you yourself can become desperate.
It's been an extremely long and hard day. I woke up at four o' clock this afternoon. It rained all day and I guess that that didn't help my mood at all either. I am currently having a good amount of financial trouble and as hard as I am trying, I just can't seem to get any progression. One good thing that did happen in between all this madness was that I got into the university in my city and am finally going to school for writing.
You know, I sit here everyday and go through about 20 emotional changes through out that day. I just recently got out of a three year relationship and the way I was left feeling... the hurt that came with the break-up... Honestly, it brought me to my knees. And at the time, I was very ashamed of myself for letting someone have that power to really hurt me. But in truth, that person had been hurting me for such a long time. Now there were times when I fucked up and I hurt her. I was wrong for those times. But in that span, she'd betrayed me and really hurt my feelings. I just needed someone else to turn to. Someone I could trust. it is no excuse for my actions, but that is why I did it. At the end of everything, I still stayed. I CHOSE to stay because some part of me still held love for the person I was with. I really had no idea how. We would fight so much and eventually the fights turned physical, and violent. I'd never thought that when we'd started that we'd end up there, but we did.