Ben Kharakh
Bio
Manic pixie dream goth. With appearances in Fortune, Vice, Gothamist, and McSweeney's.@benkharakh
Stories (63/0)
- Top Story - May 2018
Casting the Porn Parody of the Trump Russia ProbeTop Story - May 2018
From Edward Penishands to Sponge Knob Square Nuts, there are porn parodies of everything. So, why not a parody of the already ridiculous administration of President Sex Criminal? Luckily, the wide world of wads offers us plenty of opportunities for solidly casting the porn parody of the Trump Russia Probe. We've got doppelgängers and dick jockeys galore to choose from. Now, all we need is the right scribe to pen this jizz script! ;-)
By Ben Kharakh6 years ago in Filthy
- Top Story - May 2018
America's Colonialist Relationship with Puerto RicoTop Story - May 2018
Politicians are in league with corporations hellbent on destroying an entire American territory. High unemployment, high poverty, austerity measures, natural disaster, and an unwieldy amount of debt: it sounds like something an evil cabal would admit to in an 80s action movie right before the team of Kurt Russell and Sylvester Stallone blow the whole place up. But year after year, such justice doesn't come. And, unfortunately, too few Americans care because that territory is Puerto Rico.
By Ben Kharakh6 years ago in The Swamp
Inspiring Quotes to Reignite Your Motivation
Humor can light a fire under your tuchus just as well as a cat challenging you to, "Hang in there." That's because humor's connection to surprise means we access a point of view we don't already have. Sometimes that point of view undermines the very roadblocks to our motivation. Maybe we're wrong from the get-go to be so concerned about particular goals and values, and you might not know that until someone has made fun of them.
By Ben Kharakh6 years ago in Motivation
Specialty Video Game Accessories You Totally Forgot About
The reason there are so many specialty video game accessories that you totally forgot about is because so many game controllers are just a waste of your birthday gift cards. These gimmicky goods had few uses outside of a scant number of games, which makes them highly indulgent purposes that few could justify. Also, if the thing that makes the game worth buying is the controller, then a lot of people are not going to buy that game! This is especially true if there's a bad ad campaign along with it.
By Ben Kharakh6 years ago in Gamers
Signs Your Sister-In-Law Is Going to Be an Amazing Aunt
"Does it have down syndrome?" Some people are so negative that they can even manage to turn upside down a smile brought on by the birth of one's own children. First off, my little girl is not an "it"! Her name is Yasmine. Stop asking me all things you should never ask a postpartum mom! And, second, get out of the nursery because your bad vibes are making her fussy. Bring Nadia back in here because the baby already loves her! That's one of the signs your sister-in-law is going to be an amazing aunt: her mere presence pacifies your child. Here's ten more:
By Ben Kharakh6 years ago in Families
Funniest Hidden Flasks to Help You Hide Your Booze
Sure, you can drink a can of Steel Reserve or blackberry brandy from a brown paper bag, but what if you want to be even more discrete? Maybe you're at a beach, park, movies, or high school graduation and really need to keep your alcohol consumption on the down low. Luckily, the best hidden flasks will make no one the wiser in regards to your secret boozing.
By Ben Kharakh6 years ago in Proof
Understanding Men's Rights Activists and Their Lingo
Men's Rights Activists (MRA) think that they're taking arms against a world that's changing for the worse but, in reality, they're dragging their feet in the face of much-needed progressive evolution. Rather than representing a marginalized group on the edge of oppression, MRAs are actually the ones doing the oppressing and benefiting from a system rigged in their favor.
By Ben Kharakh6 years ago in The Swamp
White Supremacist Lingo and Conspiracy Theories
Of a rally that saw an act of white supremacist terrorism our President, Homeopathic Hitler, said, “You also had some very fine people on both sides." Considering that The Worst of Us has had advisors like Sebastian Gorka, Stephen Miller, Sam Nunberg, and Stephen Bannon, who've all expressed openly bigoted views, it's no surprise that Orange Julius struggles to condemn bigots: he invited them into his campaign and administration. Knowing white supremacist lingo and conspiracy theories, then, will allow you better understand Trump and his hate stew milieu.
By Ben Kharakh6 years ago in The Swamp
Most Expensive Dog Collars You Can Buy Your Pooch
If you wanted to you could spend hundreds and even millions on the most expensive dog collars. If you actually have that want then you're an irredeemably bad person. We're willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, which is one of the perks of being rich, by offering you a list of charities that you can donate to. That way you can live a lavish lifestyle with your labradoodle instead of descending to the deepest level of depravity.
By Ben Kharakh6 years ago in Petlife
10 Best TV Shows to Revive Right Now
Move over Arrested Development and Pushing Daisies. If we're going to bring back a TV show after it's final season, we're going to be an executive producer that thinks outside the box! After all, if we're making the decisions, then we're going to pull the lever on something we really wanna see and, chances are, that's going to have a big budget and a sense of irony! So, here are our TV shows to revive. WE COMMAND IT!
By Ben Kharakh6 years ago in Geeks
Funniest Celebrity Weed Quotes That Will Have You on the Floor Laughing
Millions of Americans have smoked marijuana, and plenty more don't smoke but are okay with both recreational and medical marijuana. That explains the broad appeal of the funniest celebrity weed quotes, which are often uttered by people not even intending to be funny. Instead, the origin of a lot of the quotes is just the expression of how frustrating and ridiculous it is that the chronic is illegal in the USA. In fact, nowadays most people agree that weed should be legalized. And we can all use a laugh when we're confronted with the absurd!
By Ben Kharakh6 years ago in Potent
Greatest Video Game Guns Ever
The bigger the baddies the harder they fall; the bigger the gun the bigger the hole! Whether your scrolling side to side, shooting shells from a third person point of view, or making mush out of Hell's demons, your weapons of choice leave a lasting impression. Let's take a stroll down memory lane while packing heat as we remember the greatest video game guns ever. And remember, no camping!
By Ben Kharakh6 years ago in Gamers