Don’t make the mistake of falling in love with someone else before you fall in love with yourself. To love yourself you have to invest in your personal growth and work on becoming the best version of yourself you can be. Physically, mentally, spiritually, and emotionally. Like a seed, you need to water yourself on a daily basis to grow. Same goes for any relationship. The water represents love, attention, care, respect, and so much more. Focus on doing all of these things to yourself first. Yes love yourself, but also, analyze and be critical of how you think, act, and behave. Self love without self awareness is useless. Be accountable.
The attitude of “that’s just how I am, take it or leave it” is still a sign of immaturity. As an adult, it’s your responsibility to figure out which of your traits are toxic and are negatively impactful towards other people and the ones you love, and to eventually learn how to fix them. At some point, we all have to start making ourselves better individuals. If you truly believe you don’t have to change anything about yourself, even at the very least the worst in you, and that people will just have to deal with it, then you’re still a child.
Sometimes closure comes years after, long after you’ve stopped searching for it. You’re just sitting there laughing and you realize and it’s just like that. No fanfare. No warning. No explanation. One day you just realize that you’re no longer upset. You’re no longer angry, hurt, or bothered by the things that took so much of your energy and thoughts. Your heart is calm, soul is lit, thoughts are positive, and vision is clear. You will find yourself in a peaceful place, enjoy that feeling.
As bad as you wanna address it some things are better left unsaid. Be disciplined about what you respond and react to. If you react, it won't change anything. It won't make people suddenly love and respect you, and it won't magically change their minds. Sometimes it's better to let things be, let people go, don't fight for closure, don't ask for explanations, don't chase answers, and don't expect people to understand where you're coming from. Not everyone or everything deserves your time, energy, and attention.
Girls don’t mature faster than boys, boys are just babied way longer than girls. Boys aren’t held accountable for their actions or their actions are excused for boys will be boys. No one says "girls will be girls" or "she's a girl," but a list of things a "young lady" can't do is almost endless? Girls learn from a young age that masculinity comes with freedom; femininity comes with restrictions. No matter the age, a boy always has a reason or excuse as to why he behaves a certain way. It’s time to raise boys to act respectfully instead of raising girls to beware.
Switch your mentality from “I’m broken and helpless” to “I’m growing and healing.” Your life will change for the better. Life is about perspective. The more positive your outlook is, the more positive your life will be. Nobody likes a negative Nancy and you certainly shouldn’t like being a negative Nancy. Instead of saying you only have 5 dollars left on a gift card, try saying you have 5 dollars off your next purchase. This change of mindset will take time, but you have to train your brain to be positive. Soon enough, you’ll have a positive response without any effort. Optimism is a happiness magnet. If you stay positive, good things and good people will be drawn to you.
If you take a piece of rotten fruit and place it beside perfectly good fruit, what happens? The mold from the rotten fruit spreads over to the good fruit and both end up in a bad condition. The same happens when you surround yourself with people who don’t build you up. You become just like them...
One of the biggest lessons my dad taught me was that you can never stop learning. I know, as a kid that’s the last thing you want to hear. After high school, it gets better. Trust me. You can begin the journey of learning about things you want to, not something that is necessarily required. We all put such a negative connotation to learning, but you should be open to learning. It won’t hurt you.
Don’t act or speak out of anger. You will do and say things you can’t take back, things that will hurt others possibly permanently, and sorry isn’t going to cut it. Isolate yourself. Eat something. Take a shower. Go the fuck to sleep. Give yourself time to think about the situation with a calm mind. Take your personal feelings and views out of the situation, genuinely reflect on what happened, and respond with a calm tone. Yelling isn’t going to do anything or get you anywhere. All it does is get you a sore throat and nobody really enjoys them.
Move away from your hometown. You’ll find your true self. There is a million times more support. People in your hometown rarely want you to win. A shark in a fish tank will grow 8 inches, but in the ocean it will grow 8 feet or more. The shark will never outgrow its environment. Many times we're surrounded by small minded people so we don't grow. Change your environment and watch your growth.
You think you control, maybe not everything, but a lot of shit that happens in your life. You don’t control what happens, you control your reaction. You have to train your mind to be stronger than your emotions or else you’ll lose yourself every time. Most of your stress comes from the way you respond, not the way life is. Adjust your attitude. Change how you see things. Look for the good in all situations. Take the lesson and find new opportunities to grow. Let all the extra stress, worrying, and overthinking go. A little secret to happiness is letting every situation be what it is instead of what you YOU think it SHOULD be, then make the best of it.
If something is draining you and/or fighting your inner peace, get rid of it. You have to come to the realization that all it’s doing is draining you, mentally and physically. You, on your own, have to reach a point where you realize this and decide you don’t have the energy to do certain things and surround yourself with certain people. Don’t be the only one putting in effort because you will lose yourself trying to save someone else. You have to realize something is draining you and it’s fighting your peace of mind and happiness, then not deal with it.
Don’t let the internet rush you, nobody is posting their failures. Twitter and Instagram will make you feel like a failure for not being rich by 25, but then you meet actual people who are successful and you tell them your age, and they say something like “HA! I was working at Best Buy when I did was your age with a quarter tank of gas and no food.” Social media is a highlight reel and people put what they want you to see on there. They control what you see and what you don’t see. Remember that.
Did you really have a bad day or did you have 10-20 minutes where you let your thoughts run undisciplined which led you to a bad vibe? C’mon dude, you run this shit. Pay attention. Quit milking the 10 minutes of unplanned situations ruin your entire day. Let it be what it is, be happy, and go on with your day. Quit being so negative all day long just because one thing didn’t go the way you wanted it to.
There are things that go wrong that don’t always get fixed or get put together the way they were before. Some things stay broken no matter how much glue and tape you use. You have to come to terms with that even though you really don’t want to. You have to move on from whatever it is in order to move onto the next thing, which will be better. You go through things for a reason and you have to accept that. If it can’t be fixed stop trying to get it back to what it used to be because it’s gone.
Nobody’s life is perfect, not even the person you admire the most. We all go through messy moments, ups and downs, times where we can’t seem to get our shit together, but that’s life. Shit happens, sometimes we can’t handle the situation and other times we are able to handle it with ease. All you can do is try your best and if you mess up, your lesson is learned. You aren’t going to learn from your mistakes if you don’t mess up. Nobody’s life is perfect so, stop acting like your life is.
Sometimes you think you know someone, but you don’t. You might think they’re on your side when deep down they’re not. People show their true colors, unintentionally. Pay attention. Actions speak louder than words, words are just a cover up.
There’s no shortcut to forgetting someone. You just have to endure missing them everyday until you don’t anymore. Don’t try to fill the void, you won’t be happier, you’ll end up hating yourself more than you did in the first place. I know it’s cliché, but the saying “time heals all wounds” is incredibly true. It’ll hurt and you will think you’ll feel like this forever, but things will be better in a week and then a month, until you realize you’re not hurting anymore.
No matter how you live, someone will be disappointed. As the saying goes, you can’t please everyone. So, just live your truth and be sure you aren’t the one who is disappointed in the end.
Delete the “I will do it tomorrow” attitude out of your life. Everybody knows you won’t, including yourself. If you started a year ago, you'd be a year ahead. If you started 6 months ago, you'd be 6 months ahead. If you started 3 months, you'd be 3 months ahead. But you did nothing, so nothing changed. Procrastination is the thief of time and we don't have a lot of it to begin with.
Learn to be alone and to like it. There is nothing more empowering than learning to enjoy your own company. Eat alone, take yourself on dates, sleep alone. You need to be alone to learn who you are, whether that is from figuring out what inspires you to your own thoughts and beliefs. The greatest challenge in life is discovering who you are. The second greatest is being happy with what you find.