As a kinky trans woman, I have always had the fantasy of being cucked by a woman. It started when I was in my male body and now as a woman, I have the same fantasy. I have found that over the years that I get great enjoyment from watching others have sex but more importantly I get joy and turned on by watching those that I care for and love having sex. This is the account of my first cuckquean experience.
Everything in life is labeled in some way. It starts from the moment of our birth. We are automatically labeled as male or female. We celebrate this with gender reveals and pinks and blues. It’s the way that we were taught and that’s the way most of us think that the world is. It’s true because that’s what the world does. From the second that we are born, we are put into a box and we are expected to stay in that box. But for some of us, we discover that those labels are uncomfortable. We go on with our lives and we continue to function in that box and even confirm that box. But there is more to us. We are scared to scribble outside of the lines. We are taught to care about what other people think so we come to the conclusion that we are stuck in that box.
Tell someone that is not kinky that you love pain and you will see that little pinched up face that people make when they don’t understand something. Why would you like pain? That makes no sense! To someone who is not kinky, it will never make sense. I am out in this world and I have friends that will say that they are fine with me being kinky but they don’t want to hear about the details. I respect that because they simply can’t understand it. To them when they fall down and get a bruise it’s the body's way of telling them that they are hurt. Kinky people understand this but also stand the pleasure that can come with pain.
In my 15 years in kink I have learned many things. I think the most important thing is that I enjoy sex. But really I enjoy sex a lot! I like it hot, dirty and messy. For some people it’s not an easy place to get to. I am not a skinny Barbie type girl. I have curves and that’s just the way that it is. One thing that did help when I entered this lifestyle was to see that there were many different types of bodies and nobody seemed to really care. It didn’t take me long before I was naked at events and I never looked back from there. If you fast forward to the last few years after my transition I had to go through it again. I have scars on both my vagina and breasts. I didn’t want to people to see that at first. It took my Mistress telling me that she liked my body the way that it is. That helped so much. Now I can take my clothes off in front of people and I fully accept who and what I am. I’m a sexy slut.
Being in a D/s relationship is a beautiful thing to me. The connection that it takes for it to work is extremely high and the work to get there can be a lot. To be that deeply connected to someone is like best drug in the world to me. You begin to really understand each other and what each others needs are and a conversation can happen between you without words being spoken. A look, a touch or a gesture can tell a story in your in mind and you probably don’t even realize it’s happening, you just react. Pure beauty.