I’m so glad you’re here.
Teacher | Mama | Writer
She Will Rise: Part 4
The Road Home As the days continued to pass, death didn’t come for me. I continued to be monitored on all levels, had regular visits with OBGYN doctors and many consults with the Infectious Diseases Department. No one could find a source of infection, no one could explain some of the levels they were seeing in my CBC labs and bloodwork analysis. My platelet count was over 600 and they assumed it was from my transfusion but they weren’t certain. My fever continued with no additional symptoms. I was a mystery and no one was comfortable to release me from the hospital. So they continued to keep me on the maternity floor and continued to monitor me. Some nurses wore PPE and others didn’t. I gained strength back in my legs gradually. I even graduated from walking around my hospital room to roaming the hallways. I would push Lilly in the bassinet throughout the maternity floor, pausing to gaze out the windows into the world that continued to turn outside. Nurses who had witnessed my journey and recovery applauded me every time I stepped into the hallway and made my way around. Whether I was coming or going from my room, my steps were always slow, methodical and laboured but I hoped they were going to get me home soon. Eventually, I had the stamina to make some tiny trips outside for some fresh air. Kevynn and Lilly would accompany me on these little adventures. Always, I would find a bench in the courtyard outside and gingerly lower myself to sit. Every inhale of the freezing cold, fresh air was life-giving to my lungs. To be outdoors was exhilarating, even in the dead of winter. Huddled in my parka next to Kevynn, with Lilly snuggled in her stroller surrounded by a fleece muff, we would sit in silence and I would close my eyes and feel the bite of the cold air on my face and thank God for my life, for Lilly, for Kevynn, my mom, my friends, my family, the medical team and each breath I was lucky enough to take.
She Will Rise: Part 3
The CT The trip to the CT scan was as hurried as could be. They had to find the hemorrhage before all of that new blood flowed out. They quickly hoisted me from the operating room table into a hospital bed to transport me. We didn’t have to travel too far to get there but the nurses wheeled me through the hallways rather quickly. I didn’t have to wait when we arrived in the diagnostic imaging area and they were ready for me as soon as we wheeled into the CT room. The tech met us and went over the procedure with me and asked if I had any questions. I asked if the contrast dye was safe for me because I was breastfeeding my newborn baby. Lilly was at the forefront of my mind. He assured me all was safe as the nurses lifted me off the hospital bed and onto the CT scanner. As I was being positioned in the machine, the CT tech explained that because I had a catheter in almost 75% of the dye would be out within a few hours.
She Will Rise: Part 2
Helga My night nurse had come on shift earlier in the evening around 7:30pm. She was a bigger lady who had tightly curled hair settled on the top of her head, bright pink lipstick and what appeared to be clogs on her feet. Her thick European accent was hard to understand but her no-nonsense tone was very clear. Her real name was something very European, but we nicknamed her Helga. Helga was adamant that I get up to use the restroom. I told her I would let her know when I was ready.
She Will Rise: Part 1
She Will Rise The Phoenix burns and she rises. She can burn and be burned. Once. Twice. A thousand times. She still rises
When COVID-19 took the world hostage at the start of 2020, it took me a long time to register that life was going to be very different for a long time. Everything felt heavy. Getting out of bed to go no where was heavy. Eating breakfast made from the groceries we had delivered was heavy. Walking my dog down the deserted pathways was heavy. None of it was normal and it all left me feeling exhausted. Not to mention I had just become a brand new mom weeks earlier and so my exhaustion was next level with a newborn.