Ariana Yeager
Bio
But, what if it does work out?
She walks through Hell with a smile because she owns her demons.
Don't say why me, say try me.
If you can't beat the fear, do it scared.
You only live once? False. You live everyday.
Stories (43/0)
How Ms. May Changed My Life
I waved to Ms. May from where I was standing on my porch. She flashed a brilliant smile, and waved back with one hand, as her other was holding a watering can. I watched as she watered each plant she had on her porch. She seemed gentle and careful as she watered her plants taking great care as if they were beyond fragile.
By Ariana Yeager 3 years ago in Fiction
Within the Pages
I have always had a profound love for reading and I love going to libraries and bookstores. When I was younger I read all the time whenever I could and as I’ve gotten older, the books on my shelf went untouched. I’ve come to realize that a lot of people don’t read much or even at all, possibly due to lack of interest in books or simply their busy schedules. For me it was my schedule, I lost the time to read and I didn’t realize until later how much it affected me. Reading was always an escape from everyday stressors and I’ve always read through my most difficult times in life. I do believe that there is a book out there for everyone, something that they would enjoy to read. A few years ago I saw an article in a magazine about a library in Texas making improvements to their atmosphere and while I was excited to read this article I was soon distraught. There weren’t anymore books in the library. I was shocked and couldn’t understand a library without books. Honestly, I was terrified considering my love for books. The library had ereader stations where people would read from screens. This isn’t about being against technology but I do wish books and technology could remain separate. If you are at the library on an ereader, where’s the joy in that? You lose the adventure of searching for a book amongst the aisles. There is just a completely different feeling when you are holding a book in your hands that I don’t believe a device can live up to. Within the pages of a book is not only a story, but days, months, maybe even years of work someone put into it. Within the pages it’s like you are experiencing the story firsthand as you read each paragraph, each sentence, and each word. As I said books have helped me get through very difficult times and while it may seem odd, I associate certain books with a time in my life that I dealt with a tough struggle. I can take that book off the shelf again and remember how it distracted me and gave me something else to think about other than the problem I was dealing with at the time. One of my favorite authors whose books I read during a time I was still struggling with the aftermath of my parents divorce is Hannah Jayne. Her writing is extraordinary and she has a way of trapping the reader inside her book until the very last page. I was so wrapped up in her mysteries I went numb to the co-parenting, going between houses, and sharing holidays with one parent and not the other. Her books will always have an important spot in my mind and heart. I made it a goal to own all of her mystery novels. Now that I’ve met that goal at anytime I can hold one of her books maybe even reread it and remember how the book helped me during a time I did a lot of growing up. Feeling the weight of the book in my hand knowing it gave me peace in a time I thought there wasn't any, is empowering. While there may be “books” on ereaders it would never be the same as holding a book, and turning the pages yourself. To reiterate it’s not that I don’t support e readers or other devices you can read on, however I do wish to initiate a stronger appreciation for books so that people will better understand their value. My definition of a library is a place where one can check out books, a place where there are aisles to search and explore, a place where one can hide in a little nook and read the hours away. The dictionary definition of a library is “a building or room containing collections of books, periodicals, and sometimes films and recorded music for people to read, borrow, or refer to.” Maybe my experiences and the role books have played in my life is the reason for my shock when I found out how some libraries have converted to a technological environment with no books in sight. And not only are books meaningful for my reasons mentioned above but also they smell good, which is just an added bonus.
By Ariana Yeager 3 years ago in Geeks
We are the bullies....
Most of us spend much of our lives wishing we were in another body. We constantly admire other bodies, wishing they were ours. We have this image of how we want to look based on how we think we should look - based on what society made us think is beautiful or perfect. Have you ever stopped to think that while you’re busy wishing to have another body....
By Ariana Yeager 3 years ago in Humans
9 Years Later
Like many others, I was bullied as a child. It started in the 4th grade. It was one girl mainly and sometimes two more of her friends. I thought that year forever changed me. I blamed my bully, for who I am today. For years I let myself believe that I was shy because of my bully, that I struggled with people skills because of my bully, that I had low self esteem and confidence because of my bully. Yes, the bullying did factor in. But it was my choice of how I let it shape me. I had to accept that this is who I was, and if I wanted I could work on it or let it be. I had to let it be known to myself that it was my choice if I wanted to change. When I would get frustrated with my shyness or fear to speak in school, I looked for something to blame, someone to blame. At the time I thought who better to blame than my childhood bully. I made myself believe that they shaped who I was, and for 9 years I never forgot. I mean it’s hard enough to forget an experience like bullying. But I wouldn’t let myself move on. I wanted answers, but more so a deeper part of me wanted to know if she remembered. If she remembered what she did to me. Because if she did, that would mean all those years of flashbacks and thinking about everything she did to me wouldn’t be in vain. My suffering wouldn’t be for nothing. I thought it’d be even better if she was sorry, which I figured would be a shot in the dark. I came to a point in my life where I wanted to be happier, I wanted self-growth and I wanted to terminate some demons that lived rent free in my head. So I started where I thought it began, with my bully. Now for years I was afraid of her. After what she did to me, I thought she was cruel. It was 9 years later that I decided I couldn’t live in fear anymore. Already I was on a journey of facing some fears, so I wanted to face this one too. I sent a message to my bully through Facebook. I was polite but explained how I felt and asked some questions that have been nagging me for years. My heart was racing and after sending the message I instantly regretted it. I didn’t know what I was thinking. A notification popped up on my phone and it was her. She wrote that she did remember, not exactly what she did but she knew she hurt me. She apologized sincerely many times and explained she didn’t like who she was back then and has worked on bettering who she was as a person. I was beyond surprised by her response and suddenly felt a relief life from my chest. After 9 years, 9 years, I was finally able to confront something that always troubled my mind. We need to remember that bullies are human too. Everyone is facing their own struggles and we can’t dismiss someone because we think they are bad. We have to try to understand where their actions come from. Because of my fear I missed out on 9 years of forgiveness, relief, peace, and a chance of making an acquaintance. That’s the problem when you let fear dictate your life - you’re not really living, or moving foward. You’re just being. It may have taken 9 years but there was a lot of lessons to be learned. We ending up messaging a bit after those initial messages and I was relieved we settled a long over due issue that I realized affected us both over those years. My choice in reaching out made such an impact that she put of a Facebook message apologizing to anyone she bullied or put down in the past and said how she was working on her growth as a person. I was shocked because this version of this person, I’ve never seen before. Not all stories like this may end like mine but I knew that if mine didn’t end as well as it did, at least I would have faced the fear I always had and tried. At the end of the day I know we all have many demons from the past that we let eat us alive, we let them live rent free in our minds, we let ourselves blame our past for how we are and how our lives are turning out to be. But in reality it’s we who choose to let those demons dictate our lives, and while it’s not easy, it’s not impossible either. Everyday we write our own chapter, line be line, word by word, no one writes it for us, or no one has too unless we let them. And we let them a lot. We’re under the impression and delusion that it’s not our fault. We think, maybe it’s easier to put the blame on anyone and anything but ourselves so we don’t have to live knowing it’s our fault that we aren’t happier, our fault that our lives aren’t changing. We don’t want to know that it could be our fault. Yes, the past does effect us. It can play a role in how we are, but it doesn’t have to define us entirely. We can make the effort to change if we want too. And there’s always hope in moving on and moving forward. There’s always hope. Don’t be a bully to yourself and keep yourself from living the life you could have. I promise you, taking the leap is always worth it whether it’s lesson or a blessing.
By Ariana Yeager 3 years ago in Psyche