My husband likes to say, “It’s a new day” every time we wake up after arguing the night before. He means, he doesn’t want to talk about it anymore and we should just try and be nice, like nothing ever happened. Around noon, he’ll text me from work asking how I am, and I will enthusiastically respond, and we will chat a little bit online like we did when we first started dating. Things will seem like they are going good. But because we never actually resolve anything, our problems keep growing and growing, piling and piling so high there is no rug big enough to sweep them under, and by dinner we are usually at each other’s throats, once again.
I was living in New York City and visibly pregnant, when I got into a Lyft after dinner with friends. The driver congratulated me. I thanked him, and asked if he had any children. “I do!” he replied, “I have a daughter who is 14.”