Amanda Nicole
Bio
Hey I'm Amanda! I'm a writer, Podcaster and a pet sitter. I'm much more then that! Read my stories to find out :)
https://linktr.ee/gilmorepretty
Stories (69/0)
Open Letter To My Soulmate...
Dear Soulmate, I wanted to take this moment and say a few things to you. Even though we haven't talked in a while and probably never will again, I wanted to take a moment to thank you for a few things if that's okay. But first I want to explain how I met you, you came into my life when I was without a doubt broken. I had just gotten sexually assaulted the year before and was recovering from an alcohol addiction. I hadn't slept in over a year and I was an absolute mess. To this day I'm still trying to figure out how and why you dealt with me. You helped me pick up the pieces of my ridicolous life, you helped me stay sober when I was really struggling. You were there for me through it all and you don't even know how much that meant to me. Looking back I realize how badly I treated you and I'm sorry for that. Despite how hurt and broken I was that was no excuse to be so mean to you. I'm sorry. I'm sorry for treating you like shit. I'm sorry for ending things the way I did. I'm sorry for being such a project. We lost touch for years and then you came back into my life. Again when I was broken beyond belief.
By Amanda Nicole2 years ago in Humans
F*cking Four Agreements.
Have you ever read The Four Agreements Series by Don Miguel Ruiz? Well if you haven't you might want to start there before reading this article. But if you have, you'll know what I'm talking about. I first became aware of this series when I read a little book called Eat Pray #FML by Gabrielle Stone. Since then I've both read her books 40 times each and really tried to implment the Four Agreements in my life. Here they are:
By Amanda Nicole2 years ago in Motivation
Open Letter to my Future love.
Dear Future Love, I want to start this letter off by letting you know that loving me won't be the easiest task. It will be something more akin to climbing an icy moutain or going through a mid-life crisis. What I'm trying to say is that loving me is a project. I will exhaust you and drive you crazy. I won't always trust you, I will probably get jealous sometimes. I will need lots of affection and reassurance. I know I sound like a lot and I'm sorry for that truly. I'm sorry that I'm not normal. I'm sorry that I've been hurt so badly that I'm actually used to being treated like shit. I'm sorry that I might push you away out of fear and panic. I'm sorry that I might not always be happy with you. I'm sorry that I don't always think about what I say and I'm sorry that I sometimes swear a lot or do stupid things. I loved someone at their worst and they f*cked me over at mine and left me with trauma that will take me years to work through.
By Amanda Nicole2 years ago in Humans
F&cking Toxic People
Toxic People come in all forms, friends, family, relationships. All that, Toxic people have usually only one purpose and that purpose is to hurt us. Hurt us so bad that we feel completely powerless and broken. Hurt us so bad that our hearts feel cracked open like a walnut. That's really the only purpose toxic people have.
By Amanda Nicole2 years ago in Humans
F%ck The Universe
Ever wonder why things happen the way they do? Ever hear that saying you make plans and then the universe laughs at you? If you've heard that saying in your lifetime, you either laughed or if you're anything like me you probably went into overthinking mode and wanted a crystal ball so that you could see the plan and plan accordingly. Am I right? Well Unfortunately it doesn't work like that, as much as we would like that. It would be so much easier to be able to see how things are going to work out and plan accordingly right?
By Amanda Nicole2 years ago in Humans
F*ck Ruin
Ever have something in your life fall apart? A relationship, a job, a situation. Have you ever felt devastated that it fell apart? Or have you been happy. I'd like to propose that ruin is a gift. Have you ever watched Eat Pray Love? If so, do you remember that scene where Elizabeth is emailing her lost lover and explaining that ruin is gift? I think sometimes we forget that concept in the midst of ruin. And that's completely understandable. Ruin is painful and it hurts for a very long time. You have to go through much healing to get to a place of peace again. And that's okay as well. Healing takes time as I've written about before. But this isn't about healing. It's about ruin being a gift. You may not see it at first and that's okay! Overtime however you'll come to these realizations.
By Amanda Nicole2 years ago in Humans
F^ck the Three loves
Over our course of life, we come into contact with many people. All of which have a purpose. Some more important then others. Some are meant to teach us lessons and some are just meant to come into our lives for a good laugh. Over the course of our lives we have many relationships as well. Some will hurt us, some won't. Some will make us happy and some will make us crazy. Sometimes we'll even fall in love with people. With that being said there are 3 loves that could happen over the course of our lives each with a special meaning and purpose.
By Amanda Nicole2 years ago in Humans
F*ck Growing Up
Growing up is one of the things we all have to do unfortunately. We all have to go out in the real world and somehow succeed. We have to somehow make a life for ourselves. We have to somehow go out in the world and put all the things that we learned in school into context. We have to leave the comforts of our saftey net and go out in the real world. This can be equal parts exciting and terrifying. It can be exciting because you get to get out of your parents house and have some independence. There are alot of exciting parts to growing up. But as there are exciting parts there are also terrifying parts. And that's what nobody tells you. They don't tell you that you have to figure it out on your own. They don't tell you that school didn't prepare for the real world. School just taught you math,science and all that. They don't teach you how to live in the world. They give you skills for a job and that's it really.
By Amanda Nicole2 years ago in Humans
Open Letter to Anyone with Panic Disorder.
I'd like to start off by saying this to anyone with Panic Disorder: I hear you. I have Panic Disorder myself. I've woken up in the middle of the night fearing for my life. I've freaked out while driving, eating, showering and doing other basic activities. This like all other Mental Illnesses are invisible. It's not a cold, you can't tell someone has it. You can't just tell someone to rest for a week and hope they feel better. It's a daily battle. It involves adjusting your life, making it as unstressful as possible, and you still have them sometimes. Do people realize how hard it is to simply survive with a Mental Illness? Those that have one do, but those that don't have no idea. I wouldn't expect them to. I wouldn't want them to either. I bet we wish they could help us, I bet we wish they knew what to say and how to make us feel better.
By Amanda Nicole2 years ago in Humans
F*ck Sexual Assault
Before I begin this article I'd like to issue a HUGE Trigger warning to anyone whose been Sexually assaulted or if you know someone who has. If this topic makes you uncomfortable in anyway; I have many other articles for you to enjoy. I wouldn't want to make anyone uncomfortable.
By Amanda Nicole2 years ago in Humans
F*ck Eating Disorders
Let me begin by issuing a HUGE trigger warning to anyone whose either suffered from an Eating Disorder or knows someone who has. If this article is uncomfortable for you in anyway please don't read it. I've written many others for you to enjoy.
By Amanda Nicole2 years ago in Psyche
F*ck Patience
I will be the first to admit I'm the most impatient person probably to walk planet earth. While I like to joke about being the most impatient person I've ever met. I'm coming to realize that being patient is actually sometimes a good thing. And as much as I hate waiting for things; (Especially food) I'm learning that maybe I need to be more patient. I'd like to take you back a little bit to a few years ago when I became single. I was absolutley broken and I couldn't see an end to the pain in sight. While it was the BEST thing for me to end that relationship I was still impatient about the pain ending.
By Amanda Nicole2 years ago in Humans